Hate The Messenger Comic Strips - Page 8

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273 Results for Hate The Messenger

View 71 - 80 results for hate the messenger comic strips. Discover the best "Hate The Messenger" comics from Dilbert.com.

Carol And The Terrorist

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Carol And The Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags terrorist, terrorism, racist, race, muslim, assume, assumption, accuse, accusation

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Carol: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: What? No! I'm not even close. I don't want to hate you! Please stop radicalizing me! Carol: Sweating, agitated, he looks suspicious to me. Asok: Who are you talking to???!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sexism, sexist, misogyny, conversation, talking

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Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.

Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet

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Wearing Gloves To Handle Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags numbers, math, blame, messenger, education

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Dilbert: My boss asked me to show you some numbers he put together. CEO: Why are you wearing gloves? Dilbert: I'm afraid to get it on my hands.

I Used To Have A Nemesis

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I Used To Have A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nemesis, enemy, logic, self esteem, anger, hate

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Man: I used to have a nemesis. Bit I cut out the middle person and learned to hate myself. Dilbert: That's dumb. Man: I told you I don't need you!

Robots Inherit Earth

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Robots Inherit Earth - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, intelligence, Religion, faith, god, message, messenger, deception, power

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Robot: My radio chip is picking up a message from Heaven. It says, "Robots shall inherit the Earth... ignore my first draft." We don't have to make this awkward.

How It Would Be With Robots In Charge

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How It Would Be With Robots In Charge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, slave, enslavement, power, responsibility, laziness, work ethic, annoyance, frustration

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Robot: Buwhahahaha! I will use my superior robot brain to enslave humankind! Wally: That probably sounds better than it would actually be. How It Would Be: Wally: I'm tired. I need to recharge. Robot: Gaaaa!!! I hate owning you!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social, party, invite, relationships, friend, friendship, test, popularity

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Dilbert: I'm having some people over to my house after work. Would you like to come? Woman: Who else is coming? Dilbert: Seven people said maybe, and one said he would get back to me. I think that shows a lot of interest. So how about it? Can you come? Woman: It depends on whether my sister needs a ride to the airport. Dilbert: When will you know? Woman: I'll text you. Dogbert: Are you sad that no one came? Dilbert: No, I was just A-B testing to see if I still hate all of them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, inspiration, entrepreneur, risk, irony, catch-22, creativity, creative, motivation

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Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.

Boss And Social Media

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Boss And Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, facebook, passion, deception, trick, prank, obliviousness, technology

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Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.

More Than Garfield

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More Than Garfield - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mondays, Garfield, sarcasm, teasing, conversation, antisocial, alienation

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Alice: I hate Mondays more than Garfield. Wally: Why do you hate Garfield at all? Is it his total disregard for lasagna ownership? Alice: Don't speak to me again until Tuesday. Wally: One day down, four to go.