Have Togather Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for Have Togather
View 71 - 80 results for have togather comic strips. Discover the best "Have Togather" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 29,
2019
New Forms
Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.
Monday January 28,
2019
Documents On Chairs
Tags #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #paper
Transcript
Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.
Wednesday January 23,
2019
No Recognisiton
Tags #addiction, #office workers, #social media, #video games, #expectations
Transcript
Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.
Tuesday January 22,
2019
Thankless Tasks
Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism
Transcript
Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.
Monday January 21,
2019
Very Smart Phd
Tags #education, #intelligence, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Man: Hi. I'm very smart, but I don't know how to do anything. Dilbert: Where did you get your PH.D.? Man: I didn't say I have a PH.D. Dilbert: You kinda did.
Tuesday January 15,
2019
More Accurate Job Description
Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.
Sunday January 13,
2019
Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.
Tuesday January 08,
2019
First Ai As Smart As Humans
Tags #intelligence, #invention, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #logic, #conspiracy, #humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.
Friday January 04,
2019
No Raise For Dilbert
Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #work, #salary
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?
Wednesday January 02,
2019
Boxes With Names
Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff
Transcript
Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?