Idea People Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Idea People

View 71 - 80 results for idea people comic strips. Discover the best "Idea People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Great Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Great Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, idea, office workers, sarcasm, trick, truth, evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.

Disbanding Task Force

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disbanding Task Force  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, office workers, sarcasm, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

Factories No Buyers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.

Bead Of Sweat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bead Of Sweat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, idea, nervous, office workers, sickness, virus, paranoia, pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: What do you think of my idea? Dilbert: To be honest, I didn't hear a word of it. I spent the whole time being worried about that bead of sweat on your forehead. Man: It's warm in here! Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be a thousand yards in that direction.

Why Use Tests

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

Mumble Ventriloquists

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mumble Ventriloquists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, boss, meetings, office workers, sarcasm, dumb

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: That is a dumb idea, you pointy-haired fool. Boss: Who mumbled that? I can't tell with your face masks. Voice: Meetings just got a lot more fun. Boss: Who is saying that???

High Fives

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, hygiene, life, office workers, virus, pandemic, social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

No Human Contact

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags home, human, contact, self isolation, quarantine, coronavirus, health, oxytocin, lonely

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

Version 2 Kills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, upgrade, software, technology, version, health, issue, nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

Rot From The Inside

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rot From The Inside - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work, ethic, abysmal, loan, project, hate, rot, idea, raise

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?