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369 Results for Idea To Eliminate

View 71 - 80 results for idea to eliminate comic strips. Discover the best "Idea To Eliminate" comics from Dilbert.com.

It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius

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It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #genius, #intelligence, #misunderstood

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Wally: It's hard to be a misunderstood genius. CEO: I have no idea what you're talking about. Wally: See?

Your Idea Has Been Tried

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Your Idea Has Been Tried - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #trying, #trial and error, #criticism

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Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

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Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #encryption, #security, #human error, #secrets

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Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.

Try Not Being Boring

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Try Not Being Boring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #frustration, #bored, #boring, #powerpoint, #meeting, #obliviousness, #eric scott, #business

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CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.

Dilbert Will Not Babysit

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Dilbert Will Not Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychology, #trick, #deception, #adoption, #babysitter, #babysitting

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Carol: Uh-oh. My babysitter canceled for tonight. Dilbert: Too bad. Carol: Hey, I have an idea. Do you like kids? Dilbert: I will not watch your kids tonight. Carol: I was going to ask you to adopt them. Dilbert: Absolutely not. The best I can do is watch them tonight.

Yoga For Posture

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Yoga For Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yoga, #posture, #dating, #attraction, #Women, #relationships

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Dilbert: I don't know what to do about my bad posture. Dogbert: Try yoga. Dilbert: Ooh, good idea. That will also improve my odds of meeting an attractive yoga-loving woman. Man: That was my plan too, but the full-stack guys gut here early and scared away the yoga women.

The Root Cause Of Bad Posture

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The Root Cause Of Bad Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #posture, #health, #work ethic, #laziness, #back pain

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Dilbert: How do you keep your posture so straight? Wally: It's easy. You have to understand the root cause of your poor posture before you can eliminate it. Dilbert: Bad ergonomics? Wally: Work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

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Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong

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Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea, #reality, #accuracy, #creative accounting, #numbers, #math, #error, #excel, #spreadsheet, #education

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Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.

Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School

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Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #feminism, #technology, #Women, #obliviousness, #bad idea

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Boss: Wally, I need you to talk to my daughter's school about careers in stem fields. Wally: Why me? Boss: All the good people are busy. Wally: Fair enough. Boss: We want to fix the gender imbalance. Wally: I'll wear my good shirt.