Ideas Comic Strips - Page 8

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143 Results for Ideas

View 71 - 80 results for ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, gadgets, hardware, robotic arms, hold coffee cups, industry changing products

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Wally: One percent of engineers create all of the industry - changing products. I propose replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups. You won't see any of the laggards in the 99% come up with great ideas like this one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, competition (psychology), tweaks to ideas, fails, claim credit, many forms genius, steaming an oval

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Boss: I made a few tweaks to your idea. Now if it fails it was your idea, and if it works I can claim credit. Boss: Genius comes in many forms. Dilbert: Such as steaming and oval?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, clubs, meetings, society for the preservation of evil ideas, file patents, sue for infringement, embezzle, Entertainment

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Dogbert: Welcome to the monthly meeting of "The Society for the Preservation of Evil Ideas." Our goal for the coming year is to convince companies to file absurdly broad patents and sue each other for infringing. CIO: How do we make money from that? Dogbert: Beats me. I'm just here to embezzle your dues.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, critics, idea tried, failed misarably, skilled at implementing, evaluating, insulting

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Coworker says, "Your idea has already been tried by others and it failed miserably." Dilbert says, "Were those other as skilled at implementing ideas as you are at evaluating them?" Coworker says, "Of course they were!" Dilbert says, "Can you tell him to stop insulting himself?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags talk over people, jumbled typ face, escalate, lisening, fun part

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Dogbert says, "I've decided to escalate my anti-social behavior from not listening, to actively talking over other people." Dilbert says, "How can you enjoy the conversation of others if you don't listen?" Dogbert says, "This could be one of the best ideas I've ever had." Dogbert says, "It all came together when I realized that listening isn't the fun part."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, walmart, front, ideas, annoyed, greeters, business

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The Boss says, "Walmart started selling a knockoff of our product for nine cents apiece." The Boss says, "I'm looking for ideas. Anyone? Anyone?" Wally says, "They'll need more greeters."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags explaining, twitter, typing, ideas, Word, texting, cell phone, internet, technology

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Dogbert says, "I decided to twitter because everything that pops into my head is fascinating." Dogbert says, "I don't have time to write entire sentences, so I'll just send out one word per day." Dogbert texts, "Riboflavin."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analysis, idea, suggestion, complaining, Advice, greed, science

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Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags enticing, brochure, trick, refusal, ideas, annoyed

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Asok says, "Hi Graybeard. I brought you a brochure for a great retirement home." Graybeard says, "I'm only 52. I'm not going to retire just so you can get promoted into my job." Asok says, "Risky adventure?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, coffee, suggestion, anger, firing, meeting, business

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the boss says, "I need ideas on how we can cut spending." Wally says, bring back free coffee." the boss says, "That's the opposite of cutting spending." Wally says, "It seems that way if you're short sighted." Wally says, "When I buy my own coffee, I don't drink as much." Wally says, "That make me less alert and about half as productive." Wally says, "If you give me free coffee, you can fire Ted and come out ahead." Wally says, "I rest my case." The boss says, "I'm sorry Ted. Wally makes a compelling argument." zzz