Ignorance (Knowledge) Comic Strips - Page 8
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177 Results for Ignorance (Knowledge)
View 71 - 80 results for ignorance (knowledge) comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorance (Knowledge)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 03,
2012
Tags laziness, office workers, encouragement, career plans, misjudge, 5 year plan, legacy sytems, retirement, projects, protect heart, plenty of naps, quality of work, pension fund, new career plan
Transcript
Catbert: Wally, you can't float through life with no goals and no ambition. Wally: You misjudge me. I have my entire career planned out. My five-year plan is to avoid any sort of work in which my individual accomplishments can be measured. I'll hoard knowledge about one of our legacy systems so I seem indispensable. When I get to within four years of retirement, I'll only work on projects that have a five-year payback. I'll protect my cardiovascular system by getting plenty of naps and not caring about the quality of my work. Then I'll stick a straw in our pension fund and suck on it for the next forty years. Boss: Did you get him straightened out? Catbert: No, but I got a new career plan for myself.
Thursday March 22,
2012
Tags internet & world wide web, research, believe internet, roll eyes, ignorance, science
Transcript
Dilbert: According to my research on the internet, Plan B will work best. Boss: I'm rolling my eyes because you believe everything you read on the internet. Dilbert: I should take a picture in case someone ever asks me if ignorance has a tell.
Saturday February 04,
2012
Tags engineers, diagram, problem solver.brillinat, sarcasm, ignornace, underrated, design
Transcript
Co-worker: I'm not trained as an engineer, but I think this diagram might solve your problem. Alice: Ooh! This is brilliant! It's hard to believe you have no qualifications whatsoever! Co-worker: Is that sarcasm? Alice: Ignorance is underrated.
Sunday December 18,
2011
Tags declare failure, explaining things, frustration, incompetence, office workers, partial victory, platform upgarde, teds brain, trapped
Transcript
Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.
Wednesday December 14,
2011
Tags ignorance (knowledge), elbonian factory, hysterical blindness, hats, long hats, elbonian, conveyor belt
Transcript
Dilbert: We have a safety problem at our Elbonian factory. We're getting reports of hysterical blindness. They don't what's causing it. Elbonian: I can't see!
Saturday November 19,
2011
Tags employees, ignorance (knowledge), fire wally, can't risk, zeberpupin system, only one, program, business
Transcript
Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.
Friday November 11,
2011
Tags employees, executives, ignorance (knowledge), technical details, idea, deciosns, people involved, pale and poorly dressed, business
Transcript
Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?
Sunday October 30,
2011
Tags gloating, ignorance (knowledge), internet & world wide web, digital media curation, trendy jargon, ignorance on dsiply, not worthy, curation means
Transcript
Man: My role is digital media curation. Dilbert: Am I supposed to know what that means? Man: Ha ha! I look down you for not understanding my trendy jargon. Your ignorance is on display for all to see! Leave this meeting now! You are not worthy! Dilbert: Maybe you could just tell us what curation means. Man: Fine. Let's try that. It means um... um... Is it too late for me to overlook your ignorance and move on?
Thursday October 20,
2011
Tags commerce, credit, forbidden knowledge, change to dotted lines, made of ink
Transcript
Boss: Change all of the lines to dotted. We're not made of ink. Dilbert: Why'd I just get chills? Boss: Me too. It feels like some sort of forbidden knowledge.
Sunday October 16,
2011
Tags choosing, meetings, creative ideas, next prodcut, ignorance on public disply, cost money, increase risk, evaluate each idea, disdain, good idea
Transcript
Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.


