Im Blind! Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Im Blind!

View 71 - 80 results for im blind! comic strips. Discover the best "Im Blind!" comics from Dilbert.com.

Stay Home When Sick

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stay Home When Sick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #healthy, #sick, #sneeze, #infect, #deadlines

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)

What If You Are In A Coma

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #cell phone, #client, #stupid, #liar, #insult, #understand, #die, #coma

View Transcript

Transcript

phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

Dark Matter And Lights

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dark Matter And Lights - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #philosophy, #world, #dark, #matter, #light

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: did you know that 85% of the matter in the world is dark matter, and we don't even know what dark matter is? boss: i know what it is dilbert: you do? boss: it's when the lights are off. - duh. dilbert: i'm going to go talk to someone else now.

Business Agility Influencer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Boss Negotiates With Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?

Busy To Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Busy To Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #busy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately. dilbert: were you mentoring me before? boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind. dilbert: i think it made me a better person.

Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #psychology, #over sleeping, #pancakes, #hungry

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.

Mad Or Flirting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mad Or Flirting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #relationships, #feelings, #awkward, #psychology, #anger, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: why are you mad at me? Carol: i'm not dilbert: oh. i'm not good at reading people's feelings carol: true dilbert: are you flirting with me now? carol getting up: i'm going to sit over here

Performance Versus Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Dogbert Designed The Simulation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Designed The Simulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #simulation, #creator, #three dimensional, #avatar, #truth, #made

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i didn't want to tell you this, but you're a simulation designed by a three-dimensional creator. and i'm an avatar used by your creator to interact with your world. dilbert: i refuse to believe that is true dogbert: yep. that's how i made you