Important Comic Strips - Page 8
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182 Results for Important
View 71 - 80 results for important comic strips. Discover the best "Important" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 20,
2008
Tags failed to accomplish.objectives, physical impossiblities, logical impossibilities, unforeseen problems, spying, consumer fraud, win converstaion
Transcript
The Boss says, "Why have you failed to accomplish any of your objectives this quarter?" Dilbert says, "Well, I took the objectives you gave me and put them into three categories." Dilbert says, "The first group includes physical impossibilities, such as being in two places at the same time." Dilbert says, "The second group includes logical impossibilities, such as anticipating unforeseen problems." Dilbert says, "Last, we have the illegal objectives, including industrial spying and consumer fraud." Dilbert says, "So I spend my time doing things that are both important and legal, while hoping you wouldn't fire me for it." Dilbert says, "Whoa, what just happened? Is it my imagination, or did I just win this conversation?" Dilbert says, "It was my imagination."
Tuesday July 08,
2008
Tags time management, evolution, good management, tasks, genes, dead end
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on time management and evolution." Dogbert says, "The key to good time management is skipping un-important tasks." Dogbert says, "In module two, I will show you that everything you do is unimportant because your genes are a dead end."
Tuesday May 06,
2008
Tags musky scent of failure, acquired, successful, garbageman advice
Transcript
"I acquired the musky scent of failure. Do you have anything that can get rid of it?" "Try being successful at something important." "I work in a fabric-covered box." "Okay, then try rubbing this behind both ears."
Monday March 24,
2008
Tags flatten hair, important document, option, put on head happy, unique filing, clutter
Transcript
Dilbert: Where can I put this important document so it won't get lost in your desk clutter? Carol: I'll flatten my hair so you can leave it on top of my head. Are you happy? Dilbert: I didn't know happy was an option."
Wednesday February 13,
2008
Tags consultant, virtualization, project, employees, heavy thinking, obstacles, progress, business
Transcript
The Boss: I hired a consultant to help with our virtualization project because I don't trust employees with anything important. Dogbert: I will do the heavy thinking while each of you performs your usual duties as obstacles to progress. Dilbert: You said this is my project! Dogbert: I'll let him unplug something.
Tuesday January 22,
2008
Tags configure software, consultant, doohickey, vendor, business
Transcript
The Boss: Our vendor sent us a consultant to help configure the software. We can tell how important we are by looking at the consultant they assigned to us. RatBert: The word that comes to mind is doohickey."
Monday January 07,
2008
Tags mole hired, boss, sneak, mole as mole, people think, gas bag, bad press, bad thoughts, worthless, self important
Transcript
The Boss: What have you learned this week working as my employee mole? Mole: Some of the people in this building think you're a worthless, self-important gas bag. The Boss: What do other people think? Mole: They don't know you."
Friday November 16,
2007
Tags mordac, reventer, information services, complete log in, stare directly at sun, computer message
Transcript
Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.
Sunday October 07,
2007
Tags mandatory meeting, health and well being, theme of meeting, healthy employees are unprodcutive, exercsing, eating fruit, work hard and die, feel sick, right on schedule
Transcript
The Boss: Tomorrow is the mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being. "The meeting starts at 6 A.M. So it will interfere with your sleep and not your work." Dilbert: "Doesn't that send a message that work is more important than health?" The Boss: "I hope so. That's the theme of the meeting." "Healthy employees are unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." Dilbert: "Suddenly I feel sick." The Boss: "Right on schedule!"
Saturday September 22,
2007
Tags org chart, personal problems, appendix, health, excuse, drama
Transcript
The Boss, "Carol, did you update the org chart yet?" Carol: "No. I kept waiting for it to become more important than my personal problems. But it just never happened." The Boss: "how about right now?" Carol: "Ouch! I think that's my appendix!"


