In Coffee Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for in coffee comic strips. Discover the best "In Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Uses Tropy For Credibility

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Wally Uses Tropy For Credibility - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trophy, #labels, #credibility, #employee of the year, #awards, #award, #deception

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Wall: I use my "Employee of the Year" trophy for my coffee now because it gives me instant credibility. Dilbert: I don't see how. Wally: People are not deep. Man: That's the dumbest thing anyone's ever... oh, sorry. Didn't see your trophy.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

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Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awards, #cheating, #deception, #patent, #catch-22, #work ethic, #laziness

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CEO: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for filing the most patents of any engineer in our history. Dilbert: How many have been granted? CEO: Well, most of them... I assume? Wally: How much coffee does this thing hold?

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

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Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas

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Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.

Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey

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Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assistant, #caffeine, #coffee, #croney, #lackey, #Promotion, #vice president, #upper body strength

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Asok: Now that you are a vice president, may I apply to be your lackey? Wally: If I'm being honest, Asok, I need someone with more upper body strength to carry my coffee all day. Asok: Then I said, "A Vice President's coffee can't be that heavy."

Sounded Interesting From Across The Room

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Sounded Interesting From Across The Room - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #smartphone technology, #speed evolve, #meta organism, #sum of parts, #looked interetsing, #employees, #coffee break, #cups, #business

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Tina: What are you talking about? It sounds interesting. Dilbert: We were saying that our smartphone technology has caused us to speed-evolve into a meta-organism that is the sum of our connected parts. Tina: In my defense, from across the room it looked interesting.

Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert

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Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor mill, #rumors, #freak accident, #naked, #vacuuming, #spread rumors, #coffee machine, #gossip, #office, #self preservation

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Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wounds & injuries, #work related injury, #year off, #with pay, #drinking coffee, #listening to podcast, #personal, #butt hurts, #kill, #murder, #surfing internet

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Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #slacker, #entire career, #listen to podcasts, #drink coffe, #surf internet, #multi slacking

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Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer survey, #flying car, #idiots, #new software, #people who buy, #survey, #cafe, #coffee cup

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Dilbert: I have the results of our customer survey. The new software feature they want most is "Flying car" Boss: Did you survey any people who aren't idiots? Dilbert: No, I only surveyed people who buy from us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

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Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.