Kills People Comic Strips - Page 8

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1000 Results for Kills People

View 71 - 80 results for kills people comic strips. Discover the best "Kills People" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Path To Success

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No Path To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #russia, #donald trump, #blame, #accusation, #public opinion

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Alice: I hear you're a corporate spy for our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, that was an unfounded rumor. Alice: That's exactly what guilty people say. Dilbert: I'm not seeing my path to success here.

Dilbert Might Be Colluding

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Dilbert Might Be Colluding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #trump, #russia, #rumor, #conjecture

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CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.

Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos

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Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #accusation, #hearsay, #conjecture, #gullible

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Man: I hear Dilbert's project is in total chaos. Boss: That has to be true because I heard it from three other people. Man: And that's why I told three other people.

Scavenging For Parts

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Scavenging For Parts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #strategy, #parts, #scavenging, #money, #usury, #budget, #relationships

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Dilbert: My boss forgot to fund my project so I've been scavenging for parts. Robot: You usually don't make conversation with me. I guess this means we're friends now. People.

Modular Workstations

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Modular Workstations  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #office, #language, #semantics, #workspace

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Boss: From now on, you must refer to your cubicle as a "modular workstation." The word "cubicle" is demeaning to the people who work in them. Dilbert: I feel so much better now. Boss: Good. I was hoping it would work quickly.

Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone

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Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #property, #possession, #technology

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Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #cognition, #distraction, #Entertainment, #mindless, #cell phone, #internet, #social media

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Dilbert: I wanted to be productive this week but the big tech companies didn't let me. Boss: That's ridiculous. They can't stop people from doing work. Dilbert: Actually, they can. Their business models depend on interrupting users with ads, and apps, and mindless entertainment. Until recently, humans could resist these distractions. But now the tech companies are using science to make their apps addictive. They learned how to hijack our brains. What started as simple entertainment evolved into military-grade mind control. Did you hear any of that? Boss: Any of what?

Evil Orc

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Evil Orc - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fantasy, #virtual reality, #work, #boss, #orc, #monster

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Dilbert: I wrote a VR program that turns the workplace into a "Lord Of The Rings" adventure. Gaaaa!!! It's an evil orc! Boss: I guess your program randomly assigns characters to real people. Dilbert: Um, yes, random.

Wally Volunteers For Vr Project

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Wally Volunteers For Vr Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #nap, #sleeping, #work, #laziness, #work ethic, #deception

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Wally: I'd like to work on the VR headset project on top of my other duties. Boss: That's weird. You've never volunteered for extra work before. Wally: People change. Boss: Or not.

3 D Printer Will Save Millions

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3 D Printer Will Save Millions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #altruism, #money, #profit, #big business, #priorities, #morals, #life

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Dilbert: I invented a 3-D printer for the poor that can create any kind of generic drug or medical device. It will save millions. Boss: ...of dollars? Dilbert: People. Boss: Pass.