Lead A Horse To Water Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

161 Results for Lead A Horse To Water

View 71 - 80 results for lead a horse to water comic strips. Discover the best "Lead A Horse To Water" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo's meeting, #boos, #Dilbert, #status on technology, #platform migration, #nothing to hide, #100 drunken clowns, #beed in their underpants, #decline in morale, #pretending tow ork, #get fired, #hide things

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rebel negotiation, #table, #room water, #pool, #senior discount, #observational humour, #high price

View Transcript

Transcript

Rebel negotiations Dilbert: "Your price to not attack our Elbonian factory is too high." Elbonian: "We can give you the senior citizen discount." *snort* Dilbert: "That's just mean." Elbonian: "Sorry. I'll switch to more observational humor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's tech support "Try turning off your router, your modem, and your computer." "Now turn off your air conditioning, your lights, and your water heater. Unplug your microwave and defrost your refrigerator." "You're very thorough." "Cancel your garbage service, renounce your citizenship, and yank out your phone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dead horse, #gallops away, #punch horse, #store for everything, #in office

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Someone left a dead horse in the hall. I am going to punch that dead horse until it gallops away. punch punch punch punch Dilbert: You were right. But where did you find a dead horse? Alice: Theres a store for everything.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper "My first baby weighed 11 pounds." "That's nothing." "I once passed a kidney stone that was the size of a small horse." "I find that hard to believe." "That kidney stone went on to win the Kentucky Derby!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"The new employee at work is hot, and she's getting special treatment. How can I get rid of her?" "Water finds its own level. She'll leave within a week." "They say that most people meet their future spouses at work." erk!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, this is Amber Dextrous, your new co-worker." "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you." "She's going for the hug." "Oh heck, I'll just go with the flow and for once not be the socially awkward one." "She wasn't going for the hug. She shakes with both hands." "She's the perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #plant maintenance, #contract, #save money, #adopt plant, #unluckiest plant, #coffee dregs

View Transcript

Transcript

"We canceled our plant maintenance contract to save money." "Each employee will adopt a nearby plant and water it." The Unluckiest Plant in the Whole World "Now when I pour my coffee dregs on you, it will look like work!" "Must...run..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illegal plan, #change minds, #panning for gold, #soirit

View Transcript

Transcript

The legal department says your plan is illegal. "Ask them again." "Maybe they'll change their minds." "I'll get on that as soon as I'm done panning for gold in the water fountain." "That's the spirit!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yellow sticky note road, #wizard of landfill, #coffee cup, #caffeine

View Transcript

Transcript

"Will the yellow sticky-note road lead me home?" "Not directly." "We're off to see the Wonderful Wizard of Landfill. He'll know how to get you home." "Holy #!%$, I hope this isn't him." "Coffee...cup...need...caffeine..." Continued