Management Comic Strips - Page 8

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341 Results for Management

View 71 - 80 results for management comic strips. Discover the best "Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, abusive management, weakness, testosterone levels, worry

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Dilbert: Abusive management has reduced my testosterone levels and left me feeling... Alice: Die, you dishrag! Die! Ha ha ha ha ha! Dilbert: No worries. Alice: I sensed weakness.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, poor mangement, missed gaols, 360 review, doing great, menat to say, back pedal

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Boss: You missed all of your goals. Dilbert: Because of poor management. I'll go into more detail when I do my 360-degree review of you. Boss: I meant to say you're doing great. Dilbert: That's what I meant to say too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, executives, work ethic, acting ceo, murder employees, start up, unprofitable, ridiculous jargon, wishful thinking, luck, show off, management fad

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CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, interrupting work, jargon, meeting with boss, not enough passion, stupid trendy, performance evaluation

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Boss: You don't show enough passion for your job. Dilbert: Stop interrupting my work with your stupid, trendy management jargon! Was that better or worse? I don't know how to tell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, optimism, flattened management structure, uptick in fork attacks, insider trading, benefits, stock portfolio up, sciatica better, business

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CEO: How's our new flattened management structure working out? Boss: I'm seeing an uptick in fork attacks and insider trading. CEO: Now tell me the benefits. Boss: My sciatica no longer hurts. And my stock portfolio is way up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business people, managers & supervisors, holacarcy, underlings, abusing for years, boot on neck, resistance to changes, business

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CEO: I'm eliminating all management levels and making us a holacracy. Boss: Noooo!!! Please don't make me equal to the underlings I've been abusing for years! In my defense, I thought I would always have my boot on your neck. Dilbert: Shush.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management jargon, engage employees, follow from front, anything, tell people, fake caring situation, fake passion, uncle died, combine both

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Boss: What's the newest management jargon I need to pretend you understand? Catbert: Experts say you should engage employees and follow from the front. Boss: Does that mean anything? Catbert: No one know. Just to be safe, you should tell people you're doing it. Boss: Should I act as if I'm passionate, or is this more of a fake caring situation? Catbert: Beats me. Try combining the two. Boss: Fake passion plus fake caring. Asok: My uncle died. Boss: Woot!!! What was his name?!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags irony, managers & supervisors, work ethic, manipulated, management fads, engaged, motivated, business

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Asok: Happy Monday! Thanks to your slavish pursuit of management fads, I feel engaged and motivated! Boss: It's sort of creepy. Asok: I love being manipulated!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, automate, drone, send drone, designed, hydrogen, wool sweater, humanity

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Boss: I found a way to automate the hardest part of my job. I used to do a log of "management by walking around." It was exhausting. Now I just send my drone. I designed it myself and had it built in Elbonia. The hydrogen makes it lighter than air. Dilbert: Hydrogen? Boss: Let's see what Ted is up to. He's wearing a wool sweater today. Ted: Oh, the humanity! Boss: Hold this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags creativity, fear, insubordination, managers & supervisors, stay out of trouble, business

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Boss: How's your creativity coming along? Dilbert: I don't have any. Your management style makes me focus all of my energy on staying out of trouble. Boss: Your insubordination is unacceptable! Dilbert: And there it is.