Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 8
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469 Results for Managers & Supervisors
View 71 - 80 results for managers & supervisors comic strips. Discover the best "Managers & Supervisors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 26,
2020
Online Class Muted
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, online, training, diversity, inclusion, mute, course, confess, idiots
Transcript
boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course. colleague: oops. dilbert: you can do that? Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.
Monday November 16,
2020
Real Men Multitask
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, software, software design, concentrate, multitask, distraction, kill, error
Transcript
boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.
Sunday November 15,
2020
Cushion In Schedule
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, weekend, work, deadline, due date, schedule, input, critical, liar, credibility, exaggerate
Transcript
dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.
Tuesday November 10,
2020
Ted Liked A Tweet
Tags employment, managers & supervisors, fired, business, twitter, tweet, hacked, technology, social media, file, lie, plausible, liked, unacceptable
Transcript
boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter. ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped. boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file? ted: did either of them sound plausible?
Monday November 09,
2020
No Performance Reviews
Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, Political, social, opinions, ranking, acceptable
Transcript
boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.
Sunday November 08,
2020
Banana Is Not An Apple
Tags anger, apple, argue, banana, business, doctored image, google, managers & supervisors, search, wrong
Transcript
dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.
Tuesday November 03,
2020
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, blockchain, byte, code, consensus, bluff
Transcript
boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.
Monday November 02,
2020
Boss Ear Piece
Tags answers, blockchain, business, ear piece, evil, ignorance, managers & supervisors, smart, technology
Transcript
boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.
Tuesday October 27,
2020
Credit Goes To Boss
Tags anger, business, culture, idea, managers & supervisors, ownership, report, technology
Transcript
boss: i realize this report has dilbert's name on it, but the credit goes to me. because i ordered him to do it. dilbert: actually, i came up with the idea and wrote it on my own time. boss: well, i created the culture that made it all possible. dilbert yelling: i did the work!!!
Sunday October 25,
2020
Refusing Customer Demands
Tags business, customer, demands, face mask, fault, Lose, managers & supervisors, refuse, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
dilbert: as you instructed, i refused to give in to our biggest customer's demands and they canceled all of their orders. boss: i didn't tell you to do that, you fool! dilbert: you told me to do exactly that. boss: i never told you to lose our biggest customer! dilbert: you told me to refuse their demands. boss: but i didn't tell you to lose the customer! dilbert yelling: it's the same thing!!! boss: the important thing here is that it's your fault. Dilbert yelling: i get it!!!


