Meet Halfway Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

165 Results for Meet Halfway

View 71 - 80 results for meet halfway comic strips. Discover the best "Meet Halfway" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, this is Amber Dextrous, your new co-worker." "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you." "She's going for the hug." "Oh heck, I'll just go with the flow and for once not be the socially awkward one." "She wasn't going for the hug. She shakes with both hands." "She's the perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Mister Serdecisions." "Call me Lou." "Can you cover for me tomorrow while I put shelf paper in my kitchen cabinets?" "Tomorrow is our project kickoff meeting." "Good lord, man! I can't put dishes on wood?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2006's comic on:


Tags #the contractor, #dream, #regular employee, #eat candy, #poop emeralds

View Transcript

Transcript

The Contractor "My dream is to one day become a regular employee." "My dream is to eat candy and poop emeralds." "The difference is that I'm halfway successful."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #intermediate species, #hominid, #oyster, #light sensitive blob, #serious pearl

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your resume says you're some kind of intermediary species." "That's right." "I'm halfway between hominid and oyster. Someday I hope my light-sensitive blob will become an eye!" "I don't think we can use you." "Oh, man, you're giving me a serious pearl."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bed idea, #new sourpuss, #optimism, #leadership 90 5 opitimism

View Transcript

Transcript

"Meet our new Sourpuss." "I heard that every office has one. And we didn't, so I went out and got one." "Does anything ever sound like a bad idea to you?" "Leadership is 90% optimism."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #flashy, #hot flashes, #suddenly hot, #burning, #cold, #cubicle near thermostat

View Transcript

Transcript

"Everyone meet our new team member, Flashy." "GAAA!!! Suddenly so hot!!! Burning!!!" "Flashy will be in the cubicle by the thermostat." "C-c-c-cold!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #itern, #eating fiber, #schools, #indian institute of technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tex, I'd like you to meet Asok, our intern." "Asok? What kind of name is that? Are you a taxi driver?" "Um...no." "I've produced bigger things than you by eating fiber!" "Do they have schools where you came from?" "Actually, Asok graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology. So if I were you, I wouldn't make him angry." "Why? What's he gonna do? Gnaw on my ankle?" "Explode! Explode!" BOOM! "They taught you some good stuff." "Nah. You can't even get in unless you can do that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #boss, #malfeasance, #abandoned warehouse, #beneficiary, #life insurance

View Transcript

Transcript

I'm afraid that my boss will try to kill me because I know about his malfeasance. "I recommend that you ask to meet him alone at an abandoned warehouse." "It was a mistake to name you the beneficiary on my life insurance policy." "Remember to insult his goons."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #nonsense, #no questions, #no time

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Aha! Just the person I need." "Meet with the LDC and make sure the MRT gets URPed when the RFIT gets NERKed to the ORCAT." "If you have any questions, I don't have time for that sort of thing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #important, #month to fisnish, #last minute, #unreasonable deadline, #freaky part

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, this is important but you have month to finish it." Asok: "I'll start right away." Wally: "It's smarter to wait until the last minute and then make a big show of how harding you're woring to meet the unreasonable deadline." Asok: "You said that right in front of him." Wally: "It's still work that's the freaky part"