Meeting Here Comic Strips - Page 8

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944 Results for Meeting Here

View 71 - 80 results for meeting here comic strips. Discover the best "Meeting Here" comics from Dilbert.com.

Health Problems

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Health Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags age, complaining, health, office, office workers

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Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Dilbert Characters

Meeting Robot's Son

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Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, hungry, Kids, robot, technology

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Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.

Jargon

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Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusion, employees, irritation, language, meetings, sarcasm

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Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

Changing The Website

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Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, sarcasm

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Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, customer, meeting, engineers, years, disasters, worry, data, centers, blockchain

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Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless

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Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, team, meeting, lazy, useless, propose, marinate, bile, raise, hands, grunt

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Dilbert: Everyone on this team except me is lazy and useless. I propose that I do all of the work for the team. While the rest of you marinate in your own bile. All in

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, man, criticizing, face, head, arrogance, toxic, personality, garbage, plague, legs, truth, power, behind, back

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Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.

Bias For Action

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Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, waste, time, thought, chairs, meeting

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The Boss: We need to have a bias for action! Alice: Good idea. This meeting is a total waste of time. The Boss: I probably should have thought that through.

Dogbert The Meeting Referee

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Dogbert The Meeting Referee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, story, time-wasting, red card, Wally, refree

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Dogbert, the meeting referee. The Boss: That reminds me of a story. Dogbert: Tweet! Fifteen-yard penalty for a time-wasting story! The Boss: I''ll make it quick. Dogbert: Red card!

Compared To What

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Compared To What - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, referee, terrible, compared, imagine, penalty, flag, incorrect, duh

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Dogbert, the meeting referee. Man: Your plan is terrible. Dilbert: Compared to what? Man: Compared to the plan I imagine could exist, but doesn't. Duh. Dogbert: Penalty flag for incorrect us of "duh."