Mouth Open Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

218 Results for Mouth Open

View 71 - 80 results for mouth open comic strips. Discover the best "Mouth Open" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags file emailed, viewer application, upgrade, operating system, new one, corrupted files

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I can't open that file you e-mailed." "Sounds like you need to upgrade your viewer application." "Which means you'll probably have to upgrade your operating system." "You'd better add some ram while you're at it." "But it probably makes no sense to upgrade your old computer. This is a good time to get a new one." "How do I get a new computer?" "It's easy. I'll send you a file that explains it." "Are you sending corrupted files to people again?" "Only if I think they deserve it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags planned merger, fast food chain, employees, source of protein, perfect situation, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul crushing negativity, humanity final chapter, darkness, anticipating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: That's my plan. Now I'd like to open the floor to your soul-crushing negativity. Jesus: You have written humanity's final chapter!" Tina: Darkness stalks us!" "I'll never know love!" Man: Anticipating it didn't help.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, useful parts, open to suggestions, unqualified, their own jobs, software, recycled paper, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management retreat, golfing, swimming, drinking, getting massages, count printer papaer, meaningless work assigned, dead body, Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I'm off to the management retreat." "I won't be reachable because I'll be busy golfing, swimming, drinking, and getting massages." Carol: "And attending meetings?" The Boss: "I don't see how we'll have any time for that." "While I'm gone, I have a few tasks for you to do." "Open all the packages of printer paper and make sure they have the right number of sheets." "Then crawl into the heating ducts and see if you can find what died in there." Carol: "It's my last boss." the Boss: "Spray him with something lemony."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonian, office, skunk, microwave, cooked, openminded

View Transcript

Transcript

Albanian: Which way is the microwave? "Thanks." Dilbert: "It's getting harder to be open-minded."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags use open source, emergency, trade publication, no one gets hurt

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: From now on, I want you to use open source software for everything we do. It's free. Dilbert: I'll be right back." "It's an emergency. I think he's been reading. Alice: We know you have a trade publication in here. Hand it over and no one has to get hurt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

And now for another round of e-mail judo. "Let's see...This guy wants me to attend a meeting." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him I'm booked." "This guy wants some information." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him my hard drive crashed." "This idiot wants my input on his document." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him the attachment won't open." "Who's winning today?" "Not the people who sent me e-mail. Eee-yah!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arc welder, barrel of kerosene, growth on neck, health plan, laid eggs, pregnant termite, quick search, to diagnose, use google

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: The new company health plan is Google. From now on, employees must use Google to diagnose their own illnesses. For example, this guy has a growth on his neck. Guy: I do? Catbert: A quick search on my Blackberry tells me it's... Guy: What is it?!! Catbert: Ooh. Wow. A pregnant termite crawled into your mouth and built a hive in your esophagus. Guy: GAAA!!!" "Stop being a baby. The treatment for that is... Catbert: Do you have an arc welder and a barrel of kerosene?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags violating personal space, head stuck, ear canal, doctor, baffled, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: He was violating my personal space and his head got stuck in my ear." "You need a huge yawn to open the ear canal so he can get out." Tina: Yes, I do have lots of pictures of my porcelain frog collection. Why do you ask?"