Never Leave Office Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Never Leave Office

View 71 - 80 results for never leave office comic strips. Discover the best "Never Leave Office" comics from Dilbert.com.

Compared To Alice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Compared To Alice  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparision, #face mask, #good, #office workers, #punish, #sarcasm, #selfish, #tragic, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: you did great work on this...which has the tragic effect of making my work look less good in comparison. dilbert: will you be punishing me for my good work? alice: yes, but think of it as you not being selfish.

Boss Not Returning Messages

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Not Returning Messages  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #business, #boss, #fire, #message, #importance, #sarcasm, #employment, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!

Becoming Golem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #creature, #cynical, #doom, #experience, #face mask, #golem, #jaded, #lord of the rings, #office workers, #work, #coffee, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

Wally Will Look Into It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Will Look Into It   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #help, #forget, #note, #procrastination, #sarcasm, #surprise

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: ...so, maybe you can help? wally: i'll look into it. tina: perhaps you could write yourself a little note so you don't forget. wally: nah. tina: should i abandon all hope now or wait? wally: depends how much you like surprises.

Narcisism Makes You Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Narcisism Makes You Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #narcissim, #happy, #unhappy, #therapist, #reason, #face mask, #wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: you should see a therapist about your narcissism. dilbert: if i'm happy and you're unhappy, doesn't that mean you should see a therapist and i should stay the way i am? carol: no, that's totally wrong, but give me a minute to come up with a reason.

Ted Takes Selfie With Bear

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Takes Selfie With Bear  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #selfie, #picture, #wild, #bear, #success, #techology, #business, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you hear ted took a selfie with a wild bear? dilbert: wow. where can i see that picture? wally: you'd need to ask the bear. it didn't go well.

Ratio Is Too High

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ratio Is Too High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #expense, #budget, #capital, #ratio, #too high, #afford, #standards, #historical, #irrelevant, #manage, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.

Study 5 G First

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Study 5 G First  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #5g, #dangerous, #study, #research, #reporter

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i need you to respond to this reporter who thinks our 5g technology is dangerous. dilbert: is it dangerous? boss: how would i know? dilbert: maybe i should study it first. boss: never mind. i'll ask someone else.

Dilbert Is Sexist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Dilbert Is Sexist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #fire, #crazy, #gender, #true, #false, #anger, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i want you to fire dilbert because he said i might be nuts. he wouldn't say that to a man. boss: he said the same thing to me last week. tina yelling: it doesn't count if it's true!

Social Media Poisoning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Social Media Poisoning  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #medical, #doctor, #social media, #poison, #defensive, #angry, #self-control, #weight, #pounds, #shaming, #fat, #over reaction

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!