New Job Title Comic Strips - Page 8
1000 Results for New Job Title
View 71 - 80 results for new job title comic strips. Discover the best "New Job Title" comics from Dilbert.com.
alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.
dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.
boss: i hired a sadist to design our user interfaces. i realize this isn't ideal, but no one else wanted the job. dilbert: why would our customers buy a product designed by a sadist? boss: it's called stockholm syndrome.
dilbert: tina is in some sort of technical writer's trance. dilbert: apparently, i took too long to explain some new technology, and it bored her into a coma. should i report this? wally: only if you can do it succinctly
boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.
boss: why isn't your project done yet? dilbert: because every time i walk past your office you give me three new tasks and tell men they are my highest priority. boss: i was hoping you didn't know why. dilbert: hire someone dumber next time.
boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system
boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.
Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.