Office Efficency Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

956 Results for Office Efficency

View 71 - 80 results for office efficency comic strips. Discover the best "Office Efficency" comics from Dilbert.com.

Carol Hoards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Hoards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #office supplies, #copy paper, #hoarding, #shortage, #coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.

Alice Borrows Stapler

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Borrows Stapler - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office supplies, #face mask, #borrow, #stapler, #paper clip, #coronavirus, #germs

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.

No Handshaking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Handshaking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #filthy, #hand, #invisible, #office workers, #see, #shake, #virus

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: sorry, i no longer shake hands. i can practically see the viral load on that filthy paw of yours. office worker: you can't "see" a virus. virus sound coming from hand: hee-hee! that's how we getcha.

Great Job For Someone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Great Job For Someone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #job, #opening, #private, #office, #opportunity, #background, #rid

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.

Wally Will Be Right Back

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Will Be Right Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #minute, #desk, #help, #mystery

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: do you have a minute to help me? wally: absolutely. i'll be right back after i drop off something at my desk. tina: i'll never see you again, will i? wally: don't take the mystery out of it.

Loving Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loving Yourself  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #philosophy, #self love, #evil, #ignorant, #selfish, #lazy, #love

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!

Dilbert Did Not Say That

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Did Not Say That  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #boss, #prototype, #authority, #idiot, #liar, #innocent, #guilty

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

Passion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #live, #parents, #passion, #job, #match, #career, #porcelain, #frog, #fault

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?

Two Futures

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Futures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychology, #future, #brakes, #cliff, #die, #instant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert The Futurist dogbert: i see two potential futures for you. in one future, your brakes fail and you drive off a cliff, dying instantly upon impact. office worker: and in the other future? dogbert: it's less instant.

Dogbert The Futurist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Futurist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #futurist, #predict, #hire, #industry, #time, #business, #hard, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a futurist to predict where our industry is headed. dogbert: you don't need to be here. you might want to enjoy the time you have left. office worker: what? dogbert: for the rest of you, i see hard work with no rewards.