Old Apple Computer Comic Strips - Page 8
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847 Results for Old Apple Computer
View 71 - 80 results for old apple computer comic strips. Discover the best "Old Apple Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 07,
2015
Computers Program Humans
Tags #robots, #program, #intelligence, #control, #medication, #medicine, #pill, #technology, #power
Transcript
Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.
Monday October 05,
2015
People Keep Stealing His Ideas
Tags #criticism, #honesty, #insult, #conversation, #ideas
Transcript
Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.
Sunday October 04,
2015
Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #uncomfortable, #awkward, #Women, #technology, #discussion
Transcript
Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.
Saturday July 18,
2015
Going Double Digital
Tags #attention, #distraction, #technology, #watch, #relationships, #dating, #smart phone, #smart watch
Transcript
Tina: I broke up with my boyfriend because we went double-digital. I got used to sharing time with his phone, bu the hasn't made eye contact since he unboxed his Apple watch. Dilbert: Ooh. Weather. Tina: Did you hear anything I just said?
Monday June 29,
2015
Dilbert Goes Into Hiding
Tags #hiding, #forget, #forgotten, #forgot, #friendship, #relationships
Transcript
Computer: This is Dilbert with an encrypted message from my hiding place from the government. Dogbert: Dilbert who? Dilbert: I only left yesterday!!! Dogbert: I don't like to dwell in the past.
Tuesday June 09,
2015
Maybe We Should Make A Smartwatch
Tags #technology, #innovation, #copy, #practicality, #practical, #pragmatic, #watch, #competition
Transcript
Boss: Maybe we should make a smart watch. Dilbert: Maybe it is far too late. Boss: Maybe we could make a better one than Apple. Dilbert: Maybe we should get in a sword fight and not have a sword. Boss: Am I missing anything by not listening to what you say? Dilbert: No, it's mostly for my own entertainment.
Tuesday March 31,
2015
Tina Strings Economic Words Together
Tags #economist, #economy, #deception, #jargon, #prediction, #stock market, #recession, #money
Transcript
Wally The Chief Economist. Tina: My interview with you is live on the website. Nothing you said made sense, so I strung together a bunch of economic jargon and called it your forecast. One Month Later. Computer: Only one economist accurately predicted when this bubble would burst. Dilbert: Uh-oh.
Tuesday March 24,
2015
Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates
Tags #product design, #product designer, #cruelty, #update, #computer, #reboot, #operating system, #torture, #technology
Transcript
Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?
Sunday March 15,
2015
Tags #executives, #ceos, #raise, #asking for a raise, #compensation, #money, #wages, #comparison, #wage discrepancy, #mansion
Transcript
Boss: I can only give you a 3% raise. If you want more, take it up with our CEO. Dilbert: I'd like to explain why I deserve more than a 3% raise. As a negotiating strategy, Dogbert will simultaneously read a media report about your lavish $85 million mansion. I invented three new technologies this year. Dogbert: "The toilets are solid gold." Dilbert: I wrote most of the code for our new product. Dogbert: "The helicopter pad is on the roof of the car museum." Dilbert: I worked eighty hours per week. Dogbert: "Every elevator has a full kitchen." Dilbert: I could earn more at Google or Apple... Dogbert: "Entire house rotates for optimal sun exposure." Dilbert: Do you see where I'm going with this? CEO: High-five?
Sunday March 01,
2015
Tags #computers, #customer service, #frustration, #installing drivers, #software, #tech support, #technical support, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.