Order For Me Comic Strips - Page 8
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Share August 09, 1998's comic on:
Ted sits at the conference table next to Dilbert. He says, "We're discontinuing technical support of all our products." Ted continues, "A recorded message will explain it to the called this way..." Ted says, "'In order to serve our customers better, we've discontinued technical support.'" Dilbert looks at Ted and asks, "How does that serve customers better?" Ted answers, "We'll redirect those resources to other areas." Dilbert asks, "What other areas?" Ted replies, "Profits." Ted continues, "That makes your bonus larger. Any other questions?" Dilbert says, "Apparently I'm engulfed in evil." Ted says, "That's the spirit."
Share April 02, 1997's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In order to reduce expenses, only the employees in essential jobs may have business cards." Wally, Dilbert and Alice think, "I'd better order some business cards to find out if I'm 'essential.'" The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, order some new business cards for me." Carol replies, "Ooh. No can do. But you can borrow some of mine."
Share January 10, 1997's comic on:
Wally tells Dilbert, ". . . So my Elbonian mail-order bride turns out to be a pig with a wig." Dilbert says, "What a rip-off." Dilbert says, "You're taking this well. I'd be mad if I paid for a bride and then I had to pay to send her back." They sit down at the table to eat lunch. Dilbert says, "You did send her back . . ." Wally offers Dilbert a sandwich and says, "B.L.T.?"
Share January 09, 1997's comic on:
Wally opens an air mail package. He thinks, "My Elbonian mail-order bride has arrived." Wally unties the package and thinks, "I must keep my expectations low to avoid any disappointment." A pig wearing a dress and a wig stands in the box. She says, "Where's the ladies sty? I desperately need to powder my snout."
Share January 08, 1997's comic on:
Alice says, "Hey, Wally. I hear you're getting an Elbonian mail-order bride!" Alice says, "It's so sad and pathetic, yet so funny! I feel sorry for her already!" Alice laughs. Wally says, "And people ask why I gave up on local girls."
Share January 07, 1997's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert sit at a table eating lunch. Wally says, "My Elbonian mail-order bride will arrive any day now." Dilbert asks, "Why don't you know the exact date?" Wally replies, "Because they're sending her by mail. I wasn't willing to pay for overnight delivery." Dilbert says, "She's one lucky gal." Wally says, "I'll probably keep her in the garage. It has a sink."
Share January 06, 1997's comic on:
Wally tells Dilbert, "I've decided to end my loneliness by getting a mail-order bride from Elbonia." Wally continues, "The photos were grainy, but the advertisement guarantees that she's cute." In Elbonia, a man holds a telephone and tells another man, "Blonde." The man reaches into a box of wigs and selects a blonde wig. A pig wearing a dress stands next to him.
Share August 19, 1996's comic on:
Alice and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "I've hit the glass ceiling. I'll never be promoted again." Wally replies, "That's because you're not willing to 'play the game.' You have to look and act like the person who can promote you." In order to look like the Boss, Alice shapes her hair into two points, puts on a suit and stuffs a pillow under her shirt. The Boss sees her and thinks, "Ooo la la!" Alice thinks, "This had better work."
Share August 04, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, from now on I'd like you to type up all of my incoming voice mail so I can just read it." The Boss continues, "And print out all of my e-mail every day so I don't have to log onto the network." The Boss continues, "And get me a sandwich from the cafeteria. Ooh, no cash. I'll pay you back." Carol asks, "Do you want me to prechew the sandwich or can you handle that on your own?" Carol says to Wally and Dilbert, "Listen up, you overpaid engineers . . ." Carol continues, "By order of our reclusive boss, the new dress code for engineers is bumblebee costumes." Carol continues, "If you don't believe me, send him voice mail and ask for yourself. Oh, and he wants you to buy him a sandwich." The Boss asks Carol, "Still no messages this week? Is everybody out sick?" Carol replies, "I heard they have hives." Dilbert stands next to the Boss wearing a bee costume.
Share July 08, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the grass. Dogbert says, "Someday when I become the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. Dogbert continues, "I'll order everybody to go outside once a day and run around with their mouths open." Dilbert asks, "Because you support fresh air and exercise?" Dogbert replies, "Because I hate flies."