Perfect Woman Comic Strips - Page 8
659 Results for Perfect Woman
View 71 - 80 results for perfect woman comic strips. Discover the best "Perfect Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 06, 2015's comic on:
Woman: I want to be in a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Dilbert: Marriage is a financial contract. How much money do you have? Woman: All I have is me. Dilbert: So... more vendor than spouse?
Share January 05, 2015's comic on:
Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.
Share January 02, 2015's comic on:
Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!
Share January 01, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!
Share December 07, 2014's comic on:
Woman: I like dancing and... Dilbert: I'm out. I avoid any relationship that has a risk of dancing. Woman: You're rejecting me because I like to dance? Dilbert: Yeah, it would start out all innocent... but two months into it you'd be guzzling wine and dragging me toward live music. Then you'd start doing all this... and this... and some of this... Woman: I also enjoy doing yoga to release my chakra energy. Does that bother you? Dilbert: I think I'm getting hives.
Share November 11, 2014's comic on:
Catbert: Ted retired yesterday and dropped dead this morning. You worked him to death with perfect timing. Nicely done/ Unless it was just a coincidence. Boss: If I'm being honest, hitting the exact day was just luck.
Share October 20, 2014's comic on:
Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: Is it just my simulated imagination or are all of the employees lying to me all the time? Catbert: We trained them to be that way by punishing honesty. Robot: How is you project coming along? Alice: 100% perfect! Couldn't be better!
Share August 14, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I had a great day at work for the first time ever! Don't ruin this day for me. I don't want to hear one word of negativity out of you. None. I want this to be a perfect day. Dogbert: Once again you have grossly underestimated my self-control.
Share August 10, 2014's comic on:
Its better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Yay! we're free from any penalty if we do thing wrong. um, no nothing like that. You're still in big trouble if you do anything wrong. and Im also in big trouble if I take linger to do things right? Yes. Okay , get it, Your plan is idiotic, but we should do it anyway and hot wait for you to s ay something smarter. you're leading by example nicely done. what other dumb things should we do right away?
Share July 30, 2014's comic on:
Boss: We bought a Silicon Valley start-up just to get the engineers. Be gentle with them. They're socially awkward and they haven't seen a woman in four years. Coworker: Who's up for a debate about scalable architecture followed by some spawning.