Plan Comic Strips - Page 8
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518 Results for Plan
View 71 - 80 results for plan comic strips. Discover the best "Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 27,
2017
Boss Wants Private Office
Tags cubicle, office, office workers, privacy, open office
Transcript
Boss: The employees are complaining because our new open office plan has too many distractions. CEO: You want to go back to cubicles? Boss: No, I just need a private so I can't hear them complaining.
Monday June 26,
2017
Open Office Plan Failed
Tags office, office workers, cubicle, change, mistake, admission, hubris
Transcript
Dilbert: Our transition to an open office plan has been a huge failure. Too many distractions. How can we change back to cubicles and private offices without looking like idiots? Are you listening to me? Boss: Is someone nursing a baby over there?
Saturday May 27,
2017
Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary
Tags automation, cyborg, technology, work ethic
Transcript
Randy: I am using the microchip in my brain to plan the entire project. Okay... done. The rest of you can go back to your cubicles and continue doing nothing. Wally: I spent my entire life getting ready for this sort of future and it's going down easy.
Friday May 26,
2017
Cyborg Rumors
Tags cyborg, robot, employees, replacement, deception, business
Transcript
Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.
Saturday May 20,
2017
Delegating
Tags workload, productivity, progress
Transcript
Dilbert: I worked all weekend and finished my project early. Now I don't have all of that stress hanging over me. Feels great! Unless you plan to punish me for my productivity. Boss: I call it delegating.
Sunday May 07,
2017
Tags avoiding, avoidance, offense
Transcript
Tina; Are you going to the department meeting? Dilbert: Yes, as soon as I plan my route. I have seven co-workers who I need to avoid on the way. Three are nonstop talkers. The other four ask me for something every time I see them. I've mapped their likely locations and I'm working out an avoidance path. Yes, I think I can do it. Tina: Is that my name on your list of employees to avoid? Dilbert: I didn't say it was a perfect system.
Saturday April 29,
2017
Cublices Or Open Office Plan
Tags office, concept, cubicle, floorplan, laziness, hiding
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you prefer the privacy of a cubicle or the collaborative atmosphere of an open office plan? Wally: Cubicles poison my soul. But in an open office plan, I would not get any work done. Dilbert: So... which do you prefer? Wally: The one with no work. I thought that was obvious.
Thursday April 27,
2017
Something About Honesty
Tags company, culture, business, concept, abstraction
Transcript
Dilbert: I want to make sure my project plan is consistent with our company culture. But I don't know what our culture is. Maybe you could describe it? Boss: Um... maybe something about honesty? Dilbert: No, I would have noticed that by now.
Wednesday April 12,
2017
Dilbert Red Pills Asok
Tags jargon, language, nonsense, productivity, illusion, alternate reality
Transcript
Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.
Wednesday March 15,
2017
Craving Vacation
Tags vacation, conversation, work, workload, annoy, annoyance
Transcript
Tine: I hear you have some vacation days coming. Planning anything big? Dilbert: I plan to catch up on all the work I couldn't get done here because people keep interrupting me. Tina: That's a sad vacation. Dilbert: Then why am I craving it right now?

