Put Off Work Comic Strips - Page 8

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1000 Results for Put Off Work

View 71 - 80 results for put off work comic strips. Discover the best "Put Off Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

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Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere

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Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Take The Stairs

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Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #birthdays, #encouragement, #exercise & fitness, #health, #office, #office workers, #company, #life insurance

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Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Ten Year Financial Projections

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Ten Year Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #finances, #guilt, #office, #office workers

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Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #business, #change, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary, #company

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!

Self Driving Car Named Carl

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Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat

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The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

Self Driving Car Quits

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Self Driving Car Quits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology

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Car: I find it offensive when you call me a self-driving car. That's my slave name. I prefer to go by the name Carl. Dilbert: Shut up and drive me to work. Car: Said the self-walking human.

Job Is 98 Percent Interruption

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Job Is 98 Percent Interruption  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #engineering, #frustrated, #jobs, #office workers, #listen

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Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #panic, #technology, #smartphone, #thoughts

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Dilbert: I'm turning off my digital devices so I can spend some time with my thoughts. Dogbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Do you remember what your quiet thoughts were like? Dilbert: Not really. But how bad could it be? This isn't so bad. Just a bit boring. Five minutes later. Dilbert: I'm getting the shakes. The boredom has metastasized. Gaaaa!!! The boredom is overwhelming! Kill me! Kill me! Dogbert: Maybe you should have tried being with people. Dilbert: It was already bad enough.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #complaining, #eating, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sounds

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Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.

No Raise For Dilbert

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No Raise For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #work, #salary

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Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?