Raise Hand Comic Strips - Page 8
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
511 Results for Raise Hand
View 71 - 80 results for raise hand comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 18,
2014
Tags ignorance (knowledge), sleeping & waking up, five hours of sleep, sleep deprivation, lowers intelligence, 1000% raise
Transcript
Boss: I'm training myself to get by on five hours of sleep per night. Carol: Studies show that sleep deprivation lowers your functional intelligence. Boss: Not it not be doesn't. Carol? Can I have a thousand percent raise?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday December 16,
2013
Tags charitable organizations, competition (psychology), raise money, shave head, bald man
Transcript
Boss: If we raise $40,000 for charity, I will shave my head! Wally: And if we raise no money at all, I will shave my head. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: Is it?
Tuesday October 01,
2013
Tags victims, wages, lazy, undependable, disruptive, raise, blamed victime, money
Transcript
Boss: You're lazy, undependable, and disruptive. That's why I can't give you a raise this year. Dilbert: How'd it go? Wally: He blamed the victim.
Tuesday September 17,
2013
Tags lying, new business, professional liar, albis, job refernces, annual reports, born evil
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a new business as a professional liar. I'll provide alibis, job references, annual reports, and that sort of thing. Dilbert; Were you born evil? Dogbert: It feels as if someone else had a hand in it.
Sunday September 08,
2013
Tags death & dying, negotiating, work ethic, raise, workload, incentive, work harder, disgruntled, no meaning, dreams lie broken
Transcript
Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.
Thursday September 05,
2013
Tags embarrassment, internet & world wide web, interviews, resume, old way, job interview, data online data, ew, disgust, walked out
Transcript
Boss: I don't need to see your resume. That's the old way of hiring. Now we use data from the Internet to see what you've been up to lately. Ew. Applicant: I'll show myself out. Boss: You'll understand if I don't shake your hand.
Tuesday August 27,
2013
Tags thinking, wounds & injuries, black eye, blanket, billon dollar, tech decsions
Transcript
Dilbert: How'd you bet the black eye? Boss: I was pulling up my blanket in bed. My hand slipped and I punched myself in the face. Dilbert: Okay, let's make some billion-dollar technology decisions.
Tuesday July 09,
2013
Tags wages, 2% raise, lower quality of work, side bets, money
Transcript
Boss: The best I can give you is a 2% raise. Dilbert: No problem. I'll just lower the quality of my work until my pay feels fair. Boss: You can't do that. Dilbert: I'm taking side bets that I can.
Sunday May 19,
2013
Tags work ethic, replacing system, outdated, gamification, hot new trend, employees wins, badges, ribbons, awrds, cash value, garbage, emotional value
Transcript
Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.
Saturday May 18,
2013
Tags annoyance, coaching, hand off colon, managers & supervisors, mentoring, micromanging, obliviousness, puppet, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Please stop micromanaging me. Boss: What? I thought I was coaching and mentoring. Do you want some coaching and mentoring? Carol: I'm not a puppet. Keep your hand out of my colon.


