Random Act Comic Strips - Page 8
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158 Results for Random Act
View 71 - 80 results for random act comic strips. Discover the best "Random Act" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday February 22,
2007
Tags #favorable article, #publish press release, #write it, #work, #pay, #bride, #blackmail
Transcript
Tina: I hope you don't expect me to write a favorable article about your company just because you bought me drinks. Dogbert: No, I expect you to publish my press release and act like you wrote it. Tina: You can work or you can get drunk , but the pay is exactly the same.
Tuesday February 20,
2007
Tags #asthmatic dwarves, #polygamous serial killers, #reporter, #slouch, #wheeze, #homicide, #hen pecked
Transcript
Dogbert does public relations "Our products are made by asthmatic dwarves. You should do a story on that." "Not enough? Okay, what if the dwarves are also polygamous serial killers?" "When you talk to the reporter, try to slouch, wheeze, and act henpicked to the point of homicide."
Friday February 02,
2007
Tags #user interface, #add button, #random changes, #create illusion, #adding value
Transcript
The Boss: Why did you add this button to the user interface? Dilbert: You told me to. The boss: Why would I tell you that? Dilbert: You always suggest random changes to create the illusion of adding value. The Boss: Well, remove that button. Dilbert: It's only on your copy."
Saturday September 23,
2006
Wednesday June 07,
2006
Sunday April 09,
2006
Tags #important sales call, #secret weapon, #ed from sales, #prices identical, #engineering staff, #competitor, #employs loser, #act surprised
Transcript
"I need you to accompany me on an important sales call." "Me?" "You're my secret weapon." "Well, okay." "What's your name?" "I'm Ed, from sales." "Only two companies make this type of product. The prices are identical." "The difference is that our engineering staff brings genius and innovation to everything it touches." "Whereas my competitor employs this loser." "Really? I wondered why you didn't look familiar." "Sold!" "You helped make a sale?" "Why does everyone act all surprised?"
Wednesday December 28,
2005
Tags #new guy, #project staus report, #random pharse, #generatormmeail, #listens, #when he's talking
Transcript
"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."
Sunday July 17,
2005
Tags #wrong budget, #no probelms, #unrealitic, #failure, #deceptive forecstas, #believe the lie, #deception, #optimism, #few hours, #perfect budget
Transcript
"This budget would only work if the project encountered no problems whatsoever." "So?" "All projects have unexpected problems. Therefore, this budget is almost certainly wrong." "Leaders do not plan for failure." "Do leaders make deceptive forecasts and later act shocked when things don't work out?" "No." "A leader first makes himself believe the lie, thus turning deception into an inspiring form of optimism. Observe." "GAAA!!! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!" "The swelling will go down in a few hours. Then we'll have a perfect budget." "What?"
Tuesday July 05,
2005
Tags #dating pretty boys, #look best, #act best, #more bread!, #knows he can't do better
Transcript
"I'm tired of dating pretty boys where I need to look and act my best all the time." "I want a guy who knows he can't do better than me, no matter what I look like." "MORE BREAD!!!"
Sunday April 03,
2005
Tags #developing, #easy tear, #noise cancellation, #headphones, #recognize stupidity, #prototype
Transcript
Wally: "This is a prototype of the product I've been developing for the past year." "I modified a paid of standard noise-concellation headphones to recognize stupidity and block it before it reaches your ears." "Put these on and you'll enjoy the total bliss that comes from avoiding the chatter of idiots." The Boss: "Do they work?" Wally: "What?" The Boss: "I said, do they work?!!" Wally: "Does anyone have any questions?" Dilbert: "Those are ordinary headphones, aren't they?" Wally: "If you act like you can't hear, they're a prototype."