Real Freinds Comic Strips - Page 8

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185 Results for Real Freinds

View 71 - 80 results for real freinds comic strips. Discover the best "Real Freinds" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #security guard, #shout, #technical advice, #career change, #loud, #yell, #mouth open, #reboot, #Promotion, #hobo, #sponge bath, #lobby fountain, #typo, #nervous

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Henry says, "Try rebooting." Dilbert says, "Who are you?" Henry says, "I'm Henry the security guard. I'm trying to evolve into a new career." Henry says, "I'm ignoring my real job while loudly giving technical advice to coworkers." Henry says, "Eventually, people will start to see me as a valuable technical resource. Promotions will follow." Dilbert says, "Do you know anything about technology besides 'try rebooting'?" The Boss says, "Henry, who let the hobo take a sponge bath in the lobby fountain?" Henry says, "Try rebooting! Try rebooting!" Dilbert says, "To fix a typo?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #weekly report, #feng shui, #workspace, #ceo, #consultant, #record, #microphone, #nervous, #disbelief, #excuse, #superstition, #business

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Wally says, "I couldn't work this week because my workspace has bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I know Feng Shui is a real thing because our CEO hired a Feng Shui consultant to design his office." Wally says, "Do you agree, or are you saying that our CEO is a superstitious simpleton?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #accomplish, #week, #fantasy, #time magazine, #entrepreneurial, #real job, #motion to head, #powerpoint slides, #horror, #real life, #kill, #business

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, what did you accomplish this week?" Dilbert says, "I doubled my sales and made the cover of Time magazine." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Oh. Whoops. Sorry." Dilbert says, "For a moment there I confused my entrepreneurial fantasty life with my real job." Dilbert says, "I run a parallel career in my mind. In that world, I'm the founder of a hot start-up."B<R>Dilbert says, "It keeps my brain from fully realizing the horror of my actual career and trying to kill the rest of my body." Dilbert says, "But to answer you original question, this week I made some powerpoint slides that have no particular use." Dilbert says, "GAAA!!! My brain is trying to kill the rest of my body!" The Boss says, "Moving on..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #boss, #stuck, #security, #ductwork, #cool device, #dead, #calling for help, #crime, #alive, #tools, #machine, #air vent

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Boss is stuck in the ductwork. Dilbert says, "The turbo blower kicks in after the lubricant cycle." Dilbert says, "We're sure he's already dead, right?" The Boss says, "Help!" Alice says, "Arguably, the real crime here would be building a machine this cool and not using it." The Boss says, "Can anyone hear me?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #e-mail, #urgent, #sitting, #desk, #computer, #flames, #eclipse, #cell phone, #witless protection program, #hoax, #duped, #technology

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Dilbert says, "The urgent e-mail you forwarded to the entire company is a hoax." Dilbert says, "People don't really burst into flames if they use their cell phones during an eclipse." Dilbert says, "And more bad news: The witless protection program isn't a real thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #assignment, #project, #criticism, #annoyed, #ridicule, #stupidity, #unproductive, #inefficient

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The Boss says, "Let's implement cloud computing so I have something to talk about at the executive meeting." Dilbert says, "Tell them we're evaluating it. That way neither of us needs to do any real work." The Boss says, "I like it when you do real work." Dilbert says, "Sorry. I thought you were leading by example."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #monster, #rebate, #trap, #frustration, #anger, #yelling

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Dilbert says, "I bought a new phone. It was only $50 after rebate." Dogbert says, "Uh-Oh." Dilbert says, "Let's see what the terms of the rebate?" Foom! Monster says, "I am rebaterus. You must pass five tests before your rebate will be authorized." Monster says, "You must wait 30 days without losing or accidentally discardin the rebate forms, the receipt, and the box." Monster says, "You must figure out which of the several unlabeled codes on the box is the real rebate code." Monster says, "You must write that code into a space desighned for a code half as long." Monster says, "Some numbers look like lettters." Dilbert says, "Just keep my money!!!" Monster says, "Dude, we spent it before you left the store."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #theory, #ridiculous, #avoiding, #economy

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Company Economist Man says, "The economy will either recover ot not." Man says, "Unless time itself is an illusion, in which case all matter is either stationary or imagined." Man says, "I'd take questions, but I'm not entirely sure you're real."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #cafe, #change subject, #date, #dinner date, #freinds, #hobbies, #internet, #obscure articles, #technology

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woman: do you have any hobbies?" Dilbert: I like to read obscure articles on the internet and image having friends who are interested in the same things. Woman: But you do have friends, right? Dilbert: Is it too late to change the subject?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #design, #real world, #uninformed criticisms, #meeting, #boss, #business

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The Boss: This design will never work in the real world. Dilbert: That design is already widely used in the real world. I can come back later if you need time to concoct additional uninformed criticisms.