Regular Vendor Comic Strips - Page 8

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140 Results for Regular Vendor

View 71 - 80 results for regular vendor comic strips. Discover the best "Regular Vendor" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #can't deliver parts, #promised parts, #better job, #never buy

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Dilbert: Our vendors rep says they can't deliver the parts for three months. The Boss: that just means he promised the parts to some other customer who did a better job of threatening him. Dilbert: How about if I say we'll never buy from you gain? vendor: Id say you're not exactly buying form us now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #regular goals, #stretch goals, #sacrifice health, #personal life, #criminal conduct, #bonus, #salaries below budget, #ultra stretchy, #employee rights, #taken advantage, #cheat employee

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"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals." "What's the difference?" "The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life." "The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct." "I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own." "That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals." "Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget." "Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broken promises, #scammers, #lies, #vendor, #salesman, #telling lies, #deadlines, #software, #few extras, #unfinished features, #engineering

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Vendor: We'll build your software with all the features you want plus a few extras. Dilbert: "Or maybe you'll start late and claim there's no way to do everything by the deadline." "Then you'll say that the unfinished features aren't important and you're losing money on the deal." Vendor: "I can't hear you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tell vendor, #combination, #lack of importance, #total insignificant

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Why would my boss tell a vendor our strategy and not tell me? "It's probably a combination of your lack of importance and your total insignificance." "Do you have anymore questions like that one?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #reorganization, #staff

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"How could you tell a vendor about out reorganization before you tell your own staff?" "Scoot." "Come into my office and we can discuss it." "Gaaaa!!! It's a trick. "C'mon phone, ring!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #couldn't say no, #customized, #our needs assembled and insalled, #preloathing, #promises you won't keep

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The vendor who couldn't say no, DIlbertL I need fifteen units bu tuesday. You got it, Dilbert: I want them customized for our needs assembled and installed by wednesday. You got it! Dilbert: Im loathing yo in advance for making promises you won't keep, Pre loathing I get that a lot,\.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banned, #cell phones with cae, #copied, #digital form, #emailed anywhere, #evil director, #excellent idea, #new cell ohone, #rendered useless, #scanned, #scrap book

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"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers." "My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!" "And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!" This one goes in the scrapbook." "Snap"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #snob, #business snob, #shake hand, #Dilbert, #buck passer, #cheaper, #regular employee

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The Boss: "I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #single source vendor, #job offer, #vp title, #waiting eriod

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The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invoice, #preferred vendor system, #quality product, #scowl, #small biuinessman

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I may be a small businessman but I can provide a quality product to your company. The Boss: I'll ask alice to show you how to get into our referred vendor system. Alice: He can already invoice! Wally: he has your scowl.