Root Cause Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

84 Results for Root Cause

View 71 - 80 results for root cause comic strips. Discover the best "Root Cause" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #having retreat, #mountain resort, #loud noises, #avalnaches

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in his cubicle talking on the phone. He says, "Hello, is this the mountain resort where all our executives are having a retreat?" Wally asks, "Is is true that loud noises can cause avalanches?" Wally continues, "If you see my boss, tell him I said . . ." Wally screams into the phone, "HI!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee survey, #no startegy, #quality team, #root cause, #employees are ninnies, #more stock options

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The employee survey showed that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the root cause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or 'we deserve more stock options.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all day meetings, #cutting staff, #giving stats reports, #layers, #quality team meeting, #root cause, #slow computers, #slow design, #wild guesses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #elbonian men, #presentation, #quality management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a visual aid and says, "The fishbone diagram helps identify the root cause of problems." Dilbert continues as three Elbonians listen, "In your case, the root problem seems to be that you're a nation of imbeciles . . ." An Elbonian says, "True, but YOU'RE the one who had to draw a dead fish to figure it out." Another man says, "You're in the club! Here's your hat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alien, #Dilbert, #disguise, #space, #stock market, #Dogbert, #power, #antennae, #surrender, #interest rates

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a pair of antennae. A cameraman and two news reporters stand in front of him. Dogbert says into the microphones, "As my antennae clearly prove, I'm a space alien with incredible powers." At home, Dilbert sits in his chair watching Dogbert on tv. Dogbert says, "I call on the nations of the world to surrender. Otherwise, I will cause your stock markets to fall." Later, Dilbert and Dogbert watch television together. The newscaster says, "The market fell five points today. Analysts blame interest rates and aliens." Dogbert says, "Yes!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #head, #Dogbert, #spin, #yergi, #elbonia, #elbonians, #visiting, #economy, #earns, #doctor, #year, #pair, #shoes, #philanthropist, #offered, #root, #buy, #man's, #dignity, #Kids, #meat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. He hears, "Ha ha! Now spin on your head! Ha ha ha!" Dilbert walks into the room and sees an Elbonian standing on his head. He asks Dogbert, "What's going on here?" Dogbert replies, "This is Yergi. He's visiting from Elbonia." Dogbert explains, "The economy in Elbonia is so bad he only earns three dollars a month as a doctor." Dogbert continues, "It takes a year to earn enough for a pair of shoes . . . It takes TWO years for a pound of meat." Dogbert continues, "Philanthropist that I am, I offered to give him an old boot if he would act like my trained monkey for a week." Dilbert scolds, "Dogbert! I can't believe you would buy this man's dignity for an old boot!" Yergi says, "I plan to tell the kids it's a pound of meat." Dogbert says, "Quiet, Bobo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ridiculous, #Dilbert, #supercomputer, #create, #model, #predict, #life, #brain, #chemistry, #patterns, #cause and effect, #free will, #mad, #implies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a desk and works on his supercomputer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm using my new supercomputer to create a model that can predict your entire life." Dilbert continues, "You see, everything, including your brain chemistry, is subject to predictable patterns of cause and effect . . ." Dogbert replies, "That's ridiculous. It implies that we have no free will." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "Next, you start getting really mad at me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #school, #common, #sense, #story, #clayton, #auto, #mechanic, #cigars, #gasoline, #engine, #lightning, #guess

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in a dark classroom holding a pointer and using an overhead projector. Dogbert says, "This is the story of Clayton the Auto Mechanic." Dogbert continues, "Clayton smoked cigars while working on gasoline engines. What problem did this cause?" The projector shows an explosion. A man wrapped in bandages says, "He was hit by lightning every time?" Dogbert asks, "Does anybody beside Clayton have a guess?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #sues, #ratbert, #wtiness, #alone, #drinking, #root, #beer, #underwear, #sickness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's lawyer says, "I call Ratbert as my first witness." Ratbert sits on the witness stand. The attorney asks, "Is it true that Dilbert is a secret cat lover who often betrayed the trust of his faithful dog?" Ratbert replies, "It's true." Ratbert continues, "I often found him alone drinking root beer and reading 'Cat Fancy' magazine in his underwear . . . It's a sickness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #logical, #conclusion, #scientific, #method, #science, #based

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method." Dogbert replies, "But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called 'time' and 'cause and effect' exist." Dilbert says angrily, "That's what I was taught and that's what I believe." Dogbert replies, "Sounds cultish."