Run Away Comic Strips - Page 8
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622 Results for Run Away
View 71 - 80 results for run away comic strips. Discover the best "Run Away" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 23,
2013
Tags #anger, #optimism, #positive influences, #bad energy
Transcript
Asok: Experts say I should surround myself with people who are positive influences. Alice: I'M ON A CALL! Asok: I think I absorbed some bad energy. Wally: Go away before you bum me out.
Monday November 25,
2013
Tags #deception, #sales personnel, #linux, #million dollars, #pay for upgrade, #away for free
Transcript
Dogbert: I'll sell you the rights to use Linux for one million dollars. After the first month, you only need to pay for every upgrade. Boss: It sounds too good to be true. Dogbert: It's not as if I'm giving it away for free.
Friday October 18,
2013
Tags #facial expression, #fear, #scare away the weak, #too busy, #too talk, #i said no
Transcript
Alice: I'm working on a new facial expression to scare away the weak. Want to see it? Dilbert: No. Gaaa!!! Alice: That one means I'm too busy to talk. Dilbert: I said no! I said no! I said no!
Tuesday October 08,
2013
Tags #engineers, #sales personnel, #offer discount, #chair, #runaway
Transcript
Salesman vs. Engineer Dilbert: Can you offer us a discount? Salesman: I had something like that in mind, except instead of giving a discount, I would hit you with a chair and run away. Dilbert: Please don't do that. Salesman: Okay, but I'll have to charge you extra.
Monday September 16,
2013
Tags #internet & world wide web, #surveillance, #government databases, #rest passwords, #case file, #face on pennies
Transcript
Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.
Sunday August 11,
2013
Tags #frustration, #lawyers, #software, #license, #legal dept, #services, #email, #open source, #definsition, #forge signature, #software license, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: Can you approve the purchase of this software? Boss: You need to run the software license past legal first. Lawyer: You need to fill out a legal services request form. I'll email it to you. Make sure you specify whether the software is open source or not. Dilbert: How would I know if it meets your definition of open source? Lawyer: It depends how the license is written. You'll need to ask legal to review it. Dilbert: Never mind. I'll just forge your signature on the form. Lawyer: Maybe this is why I've never seen a software license.
Tuesday July 02,
2013
Tags #complicated issue, #conversation, #finish sentences, #meeting, #smarter, #business
Transcript
Boss: Wow. This is a complicated issue. Maybe you should run it past someone who is... Dilbert: Smarter. Boss: I think you'd be better letting me end my own... Dilbert: Life?
Sunday May 19,
2013
Tags #work ethic, #replacing system, #outdated, #gamification, #hot new trend, #employees wins, #badges, #ribbons, #awrds, #cash value, #garbage, #emotional value
Transcript
Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.
Sunday May 05,
2013
Tags #cats & kittens, #surgery, #surgeon, #left something inside, #left stuff, #wallet, #car keys, #cat, #meow, #animals, #medical
Transcript
Carol: It's your surgeon. He says he might have left something inside you. Boss: What??! A sponge? A scalpel? Carol: No... his watch. And... his car keys... and wallet. He says he used your torso to store his valuables while he went for a run. Boss: Meow! Carol: I'll ask about that.
Thursday March 14,
2013
Tags #frustration, #office workers, #meaningful work, #gone for a week, #labor camp
Transcript
Dilbert: I got kicked out of a North Elbonian labor camp for working too hard. It was the first time I had ever experienced meaningful work and I got carried away. Boss: And your name is...? Dilbert: Seriously? I was gone for one week!