Same Excuses Comic Strips - Page 8
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438 Results for Same Excuses
View 71 - 80 results for same excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Same Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 15,
2017
Tags memory, notes, forgetting, reminder, forgetfulness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?
Friday October 13,
2017
Being Ineffective
Tags negotiating, haggle, training, conference, skills
Transcript
Boss: Why are we paying so much for this software? Dilbert: Because you didn't let me take a class on negotiating like I asked. Boss: Are you using this as leverage to get approval for the class? Dilbert: No, I'm just being ineffective. Does it look the same?
Tuesday September 26,
2017
Dilbert Might Have Lied
Tags rumors, sources, journalism, accusation
Transcript
Man: I heard you lied about moving the server rack. Dilbert: It isn't true. Man: I heard it from several sources. Dilbert: Each of them heard it from the same source, who was wrong. Man: With that much smoke, there must be a fire. Dilbert: Yes, but it's coming out of your ears.
Sunday September 17,
2017
Tags argument, anger, frustration, trolling, needling
Transcript
Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.
Sunday August 27,
2017
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses, motivation, projects
Transcript
Boss: I need you to add a feature to the software. Wally: That would be outside the scope of the project. Boss: Yes, but I'm your boss and I'm telling you to do it. Wally: You also told me to only do the things that are documented on the project specs. Boss: Okay, just change the documentation and then do it. Wally: If I do that, the project will be late and over budget. Boss: How many excuses do you have for not doing work? Wally: I'm just getting started. This feature will never work with the others.
Friday August 11,
2017
Wally Pretends To Work
Tags laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: If you need me, I'll be at my desk pretending to work. Alice: How long do you think you can get away with that? Wally: I wondered the same thing for the first fifteen years or so.
Thursday August 03,
2017
Dilbert Does Nothing Useful
Tags work ethic, meaning, meaningless, motivation, laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: All I did today was create a bunch of PowerPoint slides that no one will understand. But I got paid the same as if I had done something useful. Is this the first stage of becoming you? Wally: If you're lucky.
Thursday July 27,
2017
Wally Secret Project
Tuesday July 25,
2017
Wally's Excuses List
Tags meeting, work ethic, laziness, excuses, avoidance, business
Transcript
Wally: Work got a lot easier after I compiled a list of all my best work-avoidance excuses. Man: Wally, can you attend my project meeting? Wally: Well, let me check. Man: I haven't told you when we're meeting. Wally: That matters less than you think it should.
Monday July 24,
2017
Wally's Dental Excuse
Tags excuses, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Tina: Wally, I need your input on my project plan. Wally: One moment, please. I have to check my spreadsheet to see which excuses I already used with you. Tina: I'll need a good one to get past my anger. Wally: Hmmm... maybe something dental.