Same Flight Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

396 Results for Same Flight

View 71 - 80 results for same flight comic strips. Discover the best "Same Flight" comics from Dilbert.com.

Everyone Can Beat The Market Average

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Can Beat The Market Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #investor, #stock market, #stock reserch, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.

Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #dress code, #fashion, #human resources, #obliviousness, #sex appeal, #sexiness, #co workers, #tube clothes, #modifications, #distarction, #corduroy tube, #libido killer, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Your co-workers are complaining that your tube clothes distract them from work. Dilbert: I can make some modifications so I'm less sexy. That should cut down on the distraction. Catbert: We might not be on the same page. Dilbert: I could wear a corduroy tube. That's a libido killer.

Topping Our Of Category

Thank you for voting.
Topping Our Of Category - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #competition, #hyperbole, #lying, #topping, #sleepless, #kung fu, #divert asteroid, #c=ollison, #collision course

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I only slept three hours last night. Topper: That's nothing! I used kunk fu to divert an asteroid that was on a collision course with Earth. Alice: Topping needs to be in the same category! Topper: Only if you're bad at it! Hoo-ha!

Showering In Tube Clothes

Thank you for voting.
Showering In Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothes, #clothing, #efficiency, #engineers, #laundry, #nerd, #tube clothes, #shower, #shower drain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

Planning To Lose

Thank you for voting.
Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #failure, #insulting, #planning, #business plan, #plan for failure, #losers, #angry, #same page

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Hiring A Co Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Hiring A Co Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #executives, #wages, #work ethic, #co ceo, #break tie, #manioulate, #pay, #hire, #split salary, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.

Ted Retires And Dies Same Day

Thank you for voting.
Ted Retires And Dies Same Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #death, #managers, #retirement, #conincidence, #luck, #retired, #dropped dead, #overworked, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Ted retired yesterday and dropped dead this morning. You worked him to death with perfect timing. Nicely done/ Unless it was just a coincidence. Boss: If I'm being honest, hitting the exact day was just luck.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #feelings, #nonverbal communication, #robots, #novelty, #read faces, #admiration, #arousal, #bacon, #differnces, #human vs. robot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Robots are a clever novelty, but they will never be intelligent like humans. Dilbert: What would be an example of something your brain can do that a robot can't imitate? Boss: Well, for example, I can tell when a movie is good. Dilbert: If that were intelligence, all smart people would like the same movies. Boss: Well, I can also read human faces to know what people are feeling. Dilbert: What am I feeling right now? Boss: I'm picking up a mixture of admiration, arousal, and thoughts of bacon. Dilbert: Don't get cocky, but you won this round.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #blame, #deadlines, #originality, #partnership, #project milestones, #toxic moron, #incapable, #original thought, #same

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You two have failed to meet your project milestones. Dilbert: That's because you paired me with a toxic moron who is incapable of having an original thought. Coworker: That happened to me, too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #clothing, #dress code, #dress codes, #fashion, #matching, #same outifits, #ale, #dfemale, #slap to death

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, it's the first day of our new dress code and we wore exactly the same outfits! Alice: If you ever say that again I will rip out your tongue and use it to slap you to death. Dilbert: Is it because I wore it better?