Signed To Everyone Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

300 Results for Signed To Everyone

View 71 - 80 results for signed to everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Signed To Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #questioning, #jeff bezos rule, #rule of meetings, #two pizzas, #feed a meeting, #eat two pizzas, #zeros paradox, #feed everyone, #cheese bread, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going to use the Jeff Bezos rule of meetings. Bezos says you should never have a meeting that is so big you can't feed everyone with two pizzas. Wally: I can eat two pizzas by myself. Alice: How do you count the people who have gluten sensitivity and don't eat pizza? Dilbert: If I apply Zeno's Paradox to the slice size, can I have infinite attendees? Wally: And what does it mean to "feed" everyone? Do they need to be totally full? Boss: Stop being engineers! Wally: How does cheese bread fit into this?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #answers, #asked, #dumb guy, #formatted data, #obvious in hindsight, #questions, #stare at me, #office seeting, #not enough questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #honesty, #criticize bahavior, #monkey on crack, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Criticize the behavior, not the person. The email you sent to everyone looks as if it had been written by a monkey on crack. Just to be clear, you are terrific, but everything you do is exactly what a moron would do.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2013's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #committees, #frustration, #agreement with plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The Noncommittal Committee Dilbert: Does everyone agree with the plan? Woman 1: It depends. Man 1: Ask me later. Man 2: Eh. Woman 2: I'll think about it. Dilbert: Make a decision!!! Voice: Is this your first day?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #elevators, #fear, #elevator, #confrontation, #threat, #ceo, #underling, #power tripping

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Here's the hotshot that everyone says will someday take my job. I'm going to mentor you so hard your intestines will end up in your skull. Wally: I just figured out why people use the stairs.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2013's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #teaching, #mentor thing, #feels great, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The mentor thing isn't for everyone. Coworker: I don't know how this looks, but it feels great on the inside.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #planned power outage, #office, #dedication, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: There will be a planned power outage all day tomorrow. But I want all of you to come to the office and sit at your desks in case our CEO stops by. Dilbert: Because he likes it when we act stupid? Boss: It's better for everyone if we call it dedication.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #era, #original signature, #signatures, #time machine, #telegraph system

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: You'll need to mail me the original signature page after everyone signs it. Dilbert: No problem. I'll use my time machine to go back to an era in which mailing original signatures made some kind of sense. I wonder if there will ever be a way to send images over the telegraph system.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #work ethic, #assignment, #deadline, #tasks, #finsihing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You didn't finish your assignment by the deadline. Wally: It won't matter as long as one other employee is also late, because the project can't move forward until everyone does their tasks. Wait fir it... wait... Coworker: You know how I was supposed to finish that thing?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #accusations, #anxiety, #continuous barrage, #firewall, #inevitable villager, #pessimism, #villagers with torches

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to install the new firewall. Dilbert: Noooo!!!! Why me? Why me? The firewall guy gets blamed for every problem. People will say "Everything worked until you changed the firewall." There will be no rest for me. I will have to defend myself against a continuous barrage of accusations. It's always the firewall! Everyone blames the stinkin' firewall! I surrender to the inevitable! Villagers, grab your pitchforks and torches! Boss: How did he get that way? Wally: I blame the firewall.