Talk Comic Strips - Page 8

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368 Results for Talk

View 71 - 80 results for talk comic strips. Discover the best "Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Talking About The Last Job

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Talking About The Last Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, comparing, employees, dumb, business, psychology

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Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.

Men Who Do The Driving

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Men Who Do The Driving - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, driving, Men, conversation, relationships

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Woman: I like a man who always offers to do the driving on dates? Dilbert: Like Uber? Woman: But less expensive, and no waiting. Dilbert; So you're saying I'm better than Uber? Woman: You would be if you didn't talk.

Electric Car Project

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Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, labor, time, time management, obliviousness

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Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

Messages For The Boss

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Messages For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, internet, modernity, attention, distraction, excuses, technology

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Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.

Wally Waits For People

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Wally Waits For People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags responsibility, laziness, work ethic, excuses

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Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.

Biggest Risk To Happiness

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Biggest Risk To Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, Advice, complaining, conversation, psychology

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Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

Presidential Role Model

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Presidential Role Model - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags role model, example, election, candidate, logic

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Boss: We need a president who can be a good role model for my kids. Dilbert: That will come in handy if your kids want to raise your taxes or veto a transportation bill. Boss: Why do I talk to you? Dilbert: I assume you do it to gain wisdom.

Political Opinions Only Make It Worse

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Political Opinions Only Make It Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, speaking, conversation, Politics

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Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.

Do Not Talk To Ted

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Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, keeping secrets, deception

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Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

Dilbert Is Antisocial

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Dilbert Is Antisocial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, misanthropy, introvert, communication, relationships

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.