Talking Comic Strips - Page 8

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268 Results for Talking

View 71 - 80 results for talking comic strips. Discover the best "Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Has Worst Job In The World

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Asok Has Worst Job In The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hit man, job, happiness, satisfaction, doppelganger, double, lookalike, business, psychology

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Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.

Talking About The Last Job

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Talking About The Last Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, comparing, employees, dumb, business, psychology

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Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business

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Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

Fire The Bottom Ten Percent

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Fire The Bottom Ten Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rank, hierarchy, value, fired, termination, layoff, logic, executives

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CEO: I want you to fire the employees you ranked in the bottom ten percent. Boss: Wouldn't that just put someone else in the bottom ten percent? CEO: Everything made sense until you started talking. Boss: Sorry.

Just What She Thought

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Just What She Thought - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, distraction, technology, conversation, social interaction, antisocial

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Woman: I'd better check this. It's just what I thought. Dilbert: What did you think? Woman: I thought I would enjoy my phone more than talking to you.

Phone Better Than Human

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 Phone Better Than Human  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, distraction, human, conversation

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Alan: Everything went wrong for me this week. I have problems... all kinds of problems. Dilbert: For the zillionth time in a row, my phone is more fun than talking to a human.

Two Ways To Avoid Listening

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Two Ways To Avoid Listening  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, mentor, listening, attention

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Wally: There are two good ways to avoid listening to others. 1.) Do all of the talking yourself, and 2:) be too busy to listen. Asok: That sounds simplistic. Wally: I'm late for a meeting.

The Boss's Wife

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The Boss's Wife  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags artificial intelligence, ai, inventions, engineering, Women, moods, moody

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Boss: The Nobel Prize Committee nominated you for your block of wood that imitates human intelligence? I wonder what the block of wood thinks about that. Wally: It's in a bad mood and not talking. Boss: Did you model that thing after my wife? Wally: Now you've insulted it.

Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood

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Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, scam, gullible, emotions, deception

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CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.

It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius

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It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags genius, intelligence, misunderstood

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Wally: It's hard to be a misunderstood genius. CEO: I have no idea what you're talking about. Wally: See?