Talking Clothes Comic Strips - Page 8
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369 Results for Talking Clothes
View 71 - 80 results for talking clothes comic strips. Discover the best "Talking Clothes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 26,
2017
Tags conversation, delay, frustration, interpersonal communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!
Tuesday March 07,
2017
Tina Won't Stop Talking
Tags conversation, company policy, politeness, etiquette, time, talking
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.
Tuesday January 10,
2017
Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job
Tags talking, conversation, boring, annoy, quitting, boredom
Transcript
Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.
Monday January 09,
2017
Punishment By Talking
Tags deadline, time, time management, managers, perspective
Transcript
Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?
Thursday December 15,
2016
Asok Has Worst Job In The World
Tags hit man, job, happiness, satisfaction, doppelganger, double, lookalike, business, psychology
Transcript
Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.
Thursday November 10,
2016
Talking About The Last Job
Tags personality, comparing, employees, dumb, business, psychology
Transcript
Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.
Sunday October 16,
2016
Tags engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business
Transcript
Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.
Friday October 07,
2016
Fire The Bottom Ten Percent
Tags rank, hierarchy, value, fired, termination, layoff, logic, executives
Transcript
CEO: I want you to fire the employees you ranked in the bottom ten percent. Boss: Wouldn't that just put someone else in the bottom ten percent? CEO: Everything made sense until you started talking. Boss: Sorry.
Sunday August 28,
2016
Tags scam, death, reincarnation, con, con artist, ghost, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.
Friday July 15,
2016
Just What She Thought
Tags cell phone, distraction, technology, conversation, social interaction, antisocial
Transcript
Woman: I'd better check this. It's just what I thought. Dilbert: What did you think? Woman: I thought I would enjoy my phone more than talking to you.