Technology Comic Strips - Page 8
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803 Results for Technology
View 71 - 80 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 15,
2021
Every Expert Says
Tags business, idea, technology, work, old, new, future, expert, entrepreneurs, worldview
Transcript
boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry
Thursday January 14,
2021
Understanding Science
Tags business, technology, science, scientsts, chipmunk, sarcasm
Transcript
tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?
Wednesday January 13,
2021
Make Or Break Project
Tags business, technology, project, career, performance, budget
Transcript
boss: dilbert, i'm putting you in charge of a project that will make or break your career. this is the big one. the rest of your life will depend on how you perform on this project. dilbert: what's my budget? boss: no budget.
Tuesday January 12,
2021
The Moron Option
Tags business, technology, corporate rule, vendor, accounts receivable, 30 days, pay, payment, exception, moron
Transcript
dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.
Monday January 11,
2021
Keyboard Upgrades
Tags business, sarcasm, technology, keyboard, design, keys, better, hard, software, upgrades
Transcript
dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?
Sunday January 10,
2021
Recurring Charges
Tags business, technology, cancel, online, charges, information, automated phone system, contact, website, microphone
Transcript
dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.
Thursday January 07,
2021
Incoming Message
Tags distraction, technology, business, text, message, phone, respond
Transcript
dilbert: ...so what we need to do... phone on table: ding dilbert: okay, now you're only pretending to listen to me because your mind is on that incoming text message. would you like to look at it and respond? alice: only if you don't think you can wrap this up in fifteen seconds or so.
Sunday December 27,
2020
Scheduling A Call
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video conference call, schedule, call, zoom, facetime, signal, whatsapp, voice call, clock
Transcript
boss and dilbert communicating on video conference call. dilbert: let's schedule a follow-up call. do you prefer zoom, FaceTime, signal, WhatsApp, or voice call? boss: zoom dilbert: how about next tuesday at 10 a.m. my time, which is 1 p.m. your time? boss: i'll be on the road then, so you 10 a.m. will be my noon. but that's after the time change. boss: and i can't remember if i'm going to a place that change their clocks. dilbert: why don't we skip the whole thing because the call we are scheduling probably won't be any more useful than this one. boss: let us never speak of this again.
Friday December 25,
2020
Can't Tell When He Is Joking
Tags business, joking, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, employment, moon lighting, work, video conference
Transcript
dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.
Wednesday December 23,
2020
No Makeup On Zoom
Tags business, sarcasm, technology, zoom, call, voice only, makeup, hermit, fedex
Transcript
dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.

