Tell Each Employee Comic Strips - Page 8

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1000 Results for Tell Each Employee

View 71 - 80 results for tell each employee comic strips. Discover the best "Tell Each Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Mothman Detects Energy

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Mothman Detects Energy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #workload, #talking, #socializing, #conversation

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The Storytelling Mothman. Mothman: I detect the energy of an employee with a high workload. I'm here to tell you a long story that you think will never end. Alice: That is the last thing I need right now. Mothman: Do you know the history of the paper clip?

Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality

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Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #competition, #bad advice, #deception, #wedgie

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Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.

Boss Loves Criticism

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Boss Loves Criticism - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #mentee, #protege, #Advice, #competition, #deception

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Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hazmat suit, #harrass, #wear suit, #harrasment, #offcie, #prevention, #dressed up, #human resources, #inappropriate delivery, #business

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The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.

Need To Be More Creative

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Need To Be More Creative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #manager, #managing, #creativity, #company culture, #control, #leadership

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Boss: We need to be more creative. Also, don't do anything except what I tell you to do or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: Thank you for your leadership. Boss: We also need to communicate less.

Wally Finds Critical Bug

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Wally Finds Critical Bug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #big business, #bug, #deception, #insider trading, #stock, #trick

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Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.

Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code

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Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #government, #back door, #self driving, #software, #kill terrorits, #traitor, #engineering

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Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #address, #address of meeting, #anger, #driving, #gps, #inattentive, #lost, #meeting, #naviagte, #navigation system, #snap, #using phone, #business

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Dilbert: Whats the address for our meeting? The Boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you where to turn, Dilbert: With all due respect you are not a reliable navigation system. You will be using your phone and you will forget to tell me when to turn. Dilbert: If I point out your inattentiveness you will snap at me,. Dilbert: I wil be seething with anger for the entire drive, while wondering if I am already lost and don't know it. or you could tell me the address now. The boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you when to turn. AN HOUR LATER Dilbert: must... not drive...over...cliff....

Employee Body Cams

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Employee Body Cams  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #against ceo, #misinterpret warmness, #record interactions, #sexual harrasment, #wear body cams, #complaints

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The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #network, #optics, #stupid company, #Women, #imagination, #flirting, #miscommunication, #co workers, #argument, #women in management, #employees, #business

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Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.