To Dumb Comic Strips - Page 8
173 Results for To Dumb
View 71 - 80 results for to dumb comic strips. Discover the best "To Dumb" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 21, 2014's comic on:
CEO: Spare me the tedious technical details. I make my decisions based on the people involved. Dilbert: So you replaced your unsupported belief that you could spot winning projects with an unsupported belief that you can identify winning people? CEO: Stop making it sound dumb! Dilbert: Should I try paraphrasing it incorrectly?
Share May 25, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Experts say I need employees who can say no to me. I'd like you to be my trusted adviser, Wally, because you can criticize every idea I have. Wally: No. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Boss: What? Wally: You heard me. Boss: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Wally: You could thank me for saying no. Boss: Why does that sound right?!!!! Wally: You're welcome.
Share May 04, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?
Share April 02, 2014's comic on:
Dogbert: I started an online marketplace for dumb criminals. As soon as I get enought users, I'll steal all of their bitcoins. Bushahahaha! Dilbert: Is this morally defensible? Dogbert: Here's my argument: Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
Share March 11, 2014's comic on:
Share January 22, 2014's comic on:
Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?
Share November 30, 2013's comic on:
Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.
Share October 19, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Why is your project taking longer than expected? Dilbert: It's only taking longer than dumb people expected. Boss: Still, that's a lot of people. Dilbert: What can I say to make this conversation end?
Share June 09, 2013's comic on:
CEO: We need to have a bias for action. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Dilbert: So... a carpenter should saw the board first and measure it later? CEO: Your use of that folksy saying makes my strategy sound dumb. Alice: Why do you care if your strategy is perfect or not? Dilbert: You just said it's more important to spray your defective stuff on the universe than it is to get things right. CEO: "Spray my defective stuff?" Dilbert: Should I have waited for a perfect way to say that?
Share June 02, 2013's comic on:
Boss: A goo manager leads by example. How does it help an engineer to see an example of how to be a middle manager? Dilbert: That's like teaching physics by showing examples of monster truck rallies. Alice: Should we say dumb things, too, or have you not started leading by example yet? Wally: Now what is he doing/ Are we supposed to do that? Dilbert: I think he's leading by example now! Boss: I'm starting to wonder if everything I read on the Internet is wrong.