Top Secret Data Comic Strips - Page 8

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424 Results for Top Secret Data

View 71 - 80 results for top secret data comic strips. Discover the best "Top Secret Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #credit, #motivation, #obliviousness, #hiring, #logic, #business

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Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?

Haircut Illuminati

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Haircut Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #secret society, #organizations, #illuminati, #hair, #hairstyles, #haircut, #barber, #Politics, #politicians, #success

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Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology

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CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!

Topper Never Sleeps

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Topper Never Sleeps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sleep, #tired, #brag, #bragging, #braggart, #absurd, #competition, #top, #embellish, #embellishment, #exaggeration, #health

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Topper. Dilbert: I only slept four hours last night. Topper: That's nothing. I was born awake and decided to stay that way. Dilbert: Lack of sleep is making me a little loopy. Topper: I have a human head collection.

Ted Died Last Week

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Ted Died Last Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #listening, #listen, #listener, #silence, #death, #dead, #attention, #medical

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Dilbert: Ted died in his cubicle. Alice: When? Dilbert: About a week ago. They just found him. Alice: Remember when I said Ted is an unusually good listener? I have new data.

Hire Smarter People

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Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #success, #insult, #power, #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #ego, #humility, #humble

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CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping

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Dogbert Advises Dilbert On Escaping - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #identity, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #manhunt, #technology, #money, #ruse, #trick, #greed, #betrayal

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Dilbert: The government threatened to kill me if I don't sell them my anti-hacker app. Dogbert: You should change your identity, give me everything you own, and move to an undisclosed location. Dilbert: Will we have a secret way to stay in contact? Dogbert: You're becoming a burden.

Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack

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Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app

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Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.

Alice Can Be Disrespectful

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Alice Can Be Disrespectful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mocking, #frustration, #power, #helpless

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Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...

Fifty Tips For Success

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Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #career advice, #obliviousness, #secret, #success, #tech millionaire

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Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.