Turn Down Comic Strips - Page 8

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735 Results for Turn Down

View 71 - 80 results for turn-down comic strips. Discover the best "Turn Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Who's Turn To Lie

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Who's Turn To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuse, excuses, deadline, lying

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Boss: Our CEO stopped by to see how long before we finish the new software. Dilbert: Whose turn is it to lie to him? Boss: I blamed Elbonian hackers last week. Dilbert: You're using all the good ones!

Dilbert Characters

Turn Down Service

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Turn Down Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pun, wordplay, hotel, turn-down

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Dilbert: I'd like to decline your turn-down service tonight so I can have some privacy. Voice: We're going to do it anyway. Good luck finding your stuff after we randomly move it. Dilbert: What? You can't do that! I hereby turn down your turn down of your turn-down service! Voice: Say goodbye to your phone charger!

Humidity Is Wrecking Hair

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Humidity Is Wrecking Hair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hair, humid, bad hair day

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Alice: The humidity is wrecking my hair. Please don't stare. Dilbert: I can't promise that. Alice: You're staring! Dilbert: I'm afraid to turn my back on it.

Bribing Wally

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Bribing Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, morals, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?

Electric Car Business

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Electric Car Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags electric car, scam

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Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?

Boss Freestyles With Jargon

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Boss Freestyles With Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags language, jargon, managers, leadership, nonsense, gibberish

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Boss: I forgot to make an agenda for this meeting, so I'll just freestyle it with jargon. Let's do a deep dive in the big data and drill down until we hyperlocalize some disruptive technologies. That's enough leadership. Now the rest of you need something to do.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

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A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, mistake, boss, review, human resources, revenge, business

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Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Addictive Apps

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Addictive Apps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, app, zombie, mindlessness, cell phone, marketing, business

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Boss: Our plan is to use design psychology to make our apps more addictive. Ideally, we want to strip people of their free will and turn them into mindless upgrading zombies. Dilbert: I'd feel better if we called that "marketing." Boss: I need you to be more mindless, too.

Wally's Awesome Emails

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Wally's Awesome Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, excuse, competition, accomplishment

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Alice: This week I designed and built a prototype that can turn any kind of garbage into fuel. Boss: And Wally? Wally: I sent out some emails, but no one answered. Before you judge me, keep in mind that you don't know how awesome those emails were.

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

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Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, project, fake

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Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.