Twice As Smart Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

204 Results for Twice As Smart

View 71 - 80 results for twice as smart comic strips. Discover the best "Twice As Smart" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #babble, #economics, #obliviousness, #economist, #economy, #hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.

Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #flip phones, #smart phones, #technology, #what is cool?, #windows xp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.

Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #insult, #insults, #judgement, #smart phones, #technology, #flip phone, #judegment, #follow ups

View Transcript

Transcript

Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #frustration, #multitasking, #phone, #smart phones, #playing, #karma, #wishing death

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I would like to thank each of you for playing with your phones and not listening to a word I said all meeting. I hope karma is a real thing and frozen lavatory debris from airplanes kills each of you. Alice: What was he going on about? Wally: Beats me. I'm not much of a multitasker.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #feelings, #nonverbal communication, #robots, #novelty, #read faces, #admiration, #arousal, #bacon, #differnces, #human vs. robot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Robots are a clever novelty, but they will never be intelligent like humans. Dilbert: What would be an example of something your brain can do that a robot can't imitate? Boss: Well, for example, I can tell when a movie is good. Dilbert: If that were intelligence, all smart people would like the same movies. Boss: Well, I can also read human faces to know what people are feeling. Dilbert: What am I feeling right now? Boss: I'm picking up a mixture of admiration, arousal, and thoughts of bacon. Dilbert: Don't get cocky, but you won this round.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free food, #bus service, #massages, #smart, #ambitious people, #earplugs

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #smart way, #leading, #acting, #twisting, #hired idiots

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You didn't show leadership on your project. Dilbert: Are you saying I didn't do things in a smart way? Boss: Leading is different from acting in the smartest way. Dilbert: So... either I can do things the smart way or I can be a leader like you? Boss: Stop twisting things around! You need to be smart and you need to show leadership! You can't expect your team to do what you want just because it's the smartest path. Dilbert: Remind me which one of us hired those idiots.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #artificial intelligence, #as smart, #lunchtime, #fast worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as me. Dilbert: Okay. I should have that by lunchtime. Boss: Because you're a fast worker? Dilbert: Sure.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #vacations, #work harder, #no vacation, #boss, #time off, #employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gods, #language, #elbonian language, #bixtappa, #deity, #mud adder, #strangle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We discovered that our product name is an insult in the Elbonian language. So I hired an Elbonian to review our new choices. Elbonian: Gaaa!!! You have offended Bixtappa, the deity of unseasonably warm weather and twice-baked potatoes. Our tradition says I must now strangle you with a mud adder. Luckily, I brought one. Dilbert: Do Elbonians have a lot of deities? Elbonian: No, just the one. Dilbert: He seems easily offended. Elbonian: Grab the head and yank!