Two Week Notice Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for Two Week Notice
View 71 - 80 results for two week notice comic strips. Discover the best "Two Week Notice" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 14,
2018
Cake Is Healthy
Tags cake, diet, employees, employment, health, health food, office, office workers
Transcript
Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday November 29,
2018
Everyone Is Their Own Boss
Thursday November 15,
2018
Complaining Versus Hiding
Tags boss, complaining, employees, employment, jobs, managers & supervisors
Transcript
Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.
Tuesday November 13,
2018
Bad Mouthing Ted's Code
Tags boss, computer software, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, technology
Transcript
Boss: I want you to take over Ted's software upgrade. Can you finish that in a week? Dilbert: Are you kidding? It will take a week just to bad-mouth his existing code to everyone within walking distance. Boss: Is that part necessary? Dilbert: Like water to a fish.
Tuesday November 06,
2018
Speakerphones
Tags boss, criticism, distraction, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, phone call, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.
Sunday October 28,
2018
Tags Dilbert, the boss, customer, meeting, engineers, years, disasters, worry, data, centers, blockchain
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.
Wednesday October 10,
2018
Dogbert The Insultant
Tags Dogbert, business, insultant, journal, week, fat, stupid, question, list
Transcript
Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.
Wednesday September 19,
2018
Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag
Tags alice, the boss, asok, Wally, Dilbert, accomplish, addicted, apps, fortnite, slept, losers, podcast
Transcript
Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.
Sunday September 16,
2018
Tags Dilbert, employee, calendar, week, awkward, problem, schedule, relative, lunch, sandwich
Transcript
Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.
Monday September 10,
2018
Device Can Read Minds
Tags the boss, Dilbert, device, read, thoughts, turn, computer, commands, theories, engineer, engineering, invention, nothing, broken
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.