Wally Refuses Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for Wally Refuses
View 71 - 80 results for wally refuses comic strips. Discover the best "Wally Refuses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 18,
2019
Wally Has Skills
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #robot, #design, #skills
Transcript
boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.
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Thursday October 17,
2019
Filled Bathtub To The Attic
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #bathtub, #home, #weekend, #water, #attic, #chimney
Transcript
boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.
Tuesday October 15,
2019
Practice Makes Perfect
Tags #managers & supervisors, #practice, #estimate, #errors, #business, #incorrect
Transcript
boss: how can i trust your estimate when you have been wrong every other time? wally: practice makes perfect boss: um... boss thinking: i just realized i don't know how anything works.
Friday October 11,
2019
Lack Of Strategy
Tags #managers & supervisors, #strategy, #business, #company, #employees, #nothing
Transcript
dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?
Thursday October 03,
2019
Parody Or Real
Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion
Transcript
dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now
Sunday September 22,
2019
New Tv Ad
Tags #argument, #business ethics, #marketing, #men and women, #office workers, #relations between the sexes, #accuse
Transcript
Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.
Thursday September 19,
2019
Head Banging Outcome
Tags #employees, #frustration, #office workers
Transcript
Wally: What happened to your head? Dilbert: I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration with my co-workers. Wally: Is it working? Dilbert: I think so because I don't remember your name.
Monday September 16,
2019
Best Employees
Tags #big business, #confused, #employees, #customer service
Transcript
CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?
Sunday September 15,
2019
Wally Wears Headphones
Tags #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #avoidance, #hear, #headphones
Transcript
Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.
Wednesday September 11,
2019
More Communication
Tags #boss, #communication, #confused, #distraction, #irony, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Boss: What we need in this office is more communication and fewer distractions. Dilbert: Your goals are mutually exclusive. If you communicate more, you'll be distracting us more. Boss: Now I've lost my train of thought. Dilbert: Did my communication distract you?