Worth Something Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

628 Results for Worth Something

View 71 - 80 results for worth something comic strips. Discover the best "Worth Something" comics from Dilbert.com.

Something About Asok Was Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Something About Asok Was Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2016's comic on:

Tags #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #leadership, #managers, #frustration, #humor

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Where's Asok? Dilbert: The FBI took him on suspicion of being a terrorist. Boss: Now that you mention it, something about him was wrong. Dilbert: Was it his boss? Boss: Was that a joke? Dilbert: I'm not sure. I don't have a sense of humor, either.

Doubling Percieved Lifespan

Thank you for voting.
Doubling Percieved Lifespan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2016's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #time, #boredom, #sarcasm, #lifespan, #life, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Researchers discovered a way to double the perceived length of a human's life. It's something called "meetings." Boss: Can we start now? Dilbert: I though we were already an hour into it.

Unexpected Things Happen

Thank you for voting.
Unexpected Things Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2016's comic on:

Tags #deadline, #project, #schedule, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: What's the latest on the software release date? Wally: We're right on time for the pre-alpha launch, unless we run into something unexpected. CEO: How often does that happen? Wally: Whenever I need it.

Charging Client For Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2016's comic on:

Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Why All The Women Leave

Thank you for voting.
Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2015's comic on:

Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

Dilbert Characters

Carl Asks What

Thank you for voting.
Carl Asks What - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2015's comic on:

Tags #insult, #dupe, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Carl, I see something in you. Carl: What? Alice: The blank stare of incompetence. Wally: Never ask "what." Alice: Guess what else.

Dilbert Teaches Robot To Code

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Teaches Robot To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2015's comic on:

Tags #singularity, #machines, #robot, #technology, #control, #power, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did you teach the robot how to program? Dilbert: I did. He's a fast learner. Alice: Have you heard of something called the singularity? Dilbert: Yes. Why do you... Is it too late to say I wasn't involved?

Clarifying Our Strategies

Thank you for voting.
Clarifying Our Strategies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2015's comic on:

Tags #jargon, #speaking, #confusion, #language, #obliviousness, #managers, #fake, #faking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hope that clarifies our strategy. Questions? Dilbert: From what you said, I can't tell if we're in the hardware or software business. Boss: We're B-to-B. Dilbert: How much do you with that meant something?

Wally Engineers Something

Thank you for voting.
Wally Engineers Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2015's comic on:

Tags #genius, #brilliant, #idea, #thinking, #printer, #technology, #invention, #medicine, #deception, #motivation, #innovation, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2015's comic on:

Tags #martial arts, #yoga, #stupid, #idiot, #confusion, #tai chi, #karate, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.