Writing Systems Comic Strips - Page 8

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169 Results for Writing Systems

View 71 - 80 results for writing systems comic strips. Discover the best "Writing Systems" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #frisutration, #vendor, #dela, #cost, #product costs, #shipping, #won't answer, #deliberate avoidance, #crazy making, #systems costs, #delivery, #stuck

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Dilbert: "What would your system cost?" Vendor: "We can deliver in two weeks." Dilbert: "But what would it cost?" Vendor: "A lot of vendors deliver in four weeks, but we can do it in two." Dilbert: "I'm asking about price, not delivery schedules." Vendor: "Do you want it shipped by ground or air? Air is even faster." Dilbert: "What does it cost?" Vendor: "Ground costs less than air." Dilbert: "GAAA!!! What does the SYSTEM cost?!!" Vendor: "For ground?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2007's comic on:


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"You have a pattern of raising no objections to plans and later acting as if you opposed them from the start." "I hope to thwart you by asking you to sign off on this plan in writing." "Ooh, if only you had asked me before my hands got stuck in these coffee mugs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2007's comic on:


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"E-mail me with your comments on the design." "Can't I just tell you my comments now?" "I need it in writing because you're a huge liar and you'll change your story later." "And I might punch you for not shaving the back of your neck." "Well then, e-mail it is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons

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The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #journal, #personal growth, #write in journal, #felt a little

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Keep a journal of everything you do. That way you'll know where you need help. "Now I am writing in my journal. I am still writing in my journal. Now I am writing about writing in my journal." "Ooh. I think I felt a little personal growth there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #extra luck, #less available, #albert einstein, #hero, #critic of war, #jeffrey dahmer, #lottery win

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"I have a job interview. Wish me luck." "No." "If you get extra luck then there might be less available for me." "I don't think it works that way." "I can't take that chance." "Tell me, Dilbert, who would you consider your hero?" "Albert Einstein." "That should be safe." "Oh, really? He was an outspoken critic of war. We design missle guidance systems." "How about Jeffrey Dahmer? No?" "I won the lottery!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails

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"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #attend meeting, #mandatory meeting, #meeting mandatory, #approval, #bending rules, #handed out cash

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"Can I talk to you after the mandatory meeting?" "Whoa! Whoa! I didn't give you approval to attend that meeting." "The meeting is mandatory." "Approval is mandatory too." "Okay, whatever." "May I go to the mandatory meeting?" "All requests must be in writing." "It's mandatory!!! Man-duh-tory!!!" "If people start bending the rules, before long, murder will be legal." "That was the finest mandatory meeting I've ever attended! They handed out cash!" "Shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #writing email, #12 page description, #carpal tunnel issue, #do work, #self inflicted, #chapter, #email

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Tina is sitting at her computer. Dilbert approaches and asks, "Tina, would you...?" Tina interrupts him, "Hold on while I finish writing this e-mail." Tina says, "It's a twelve-page description of my carpal tunnel issue, and the fact that there's never enough time to do my work." Dilbert asks, "Are all of your problems self-inflicted?" Tina responds, "That's it! I'm adding a chapter about you. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corner cubicle, #window control, #mad woman, #giant magnifiying glass, #life support

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Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "Alice moved into the corner cubicle and claimed control over the window shades!" Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Dilbert says, "Our life support systems will be in the hands of a madwoman!" Wally is sweating and panicked. He says, "Maybe she'll be kind." Alice is holding on to a giant magnifying glass that she's attached to her cubicle wall."