Wrong Comic Strips - Page 8
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347 Results for Wrong
View 71 - 80 results for wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 27,
2017
Everyone Says Dilbert Lied
Tags rumor, accusation, conclusions
Transcript
Man: Everyone says you moved the server rack and lied about it. Dilbert: Everyone is wrong. It didn't happen. Man: Oh, so it's your word against literally "everyone?" Is that what you're saying? I'll go with the majority on this, thank you very much. Dilbert: I want to like people, but they don't make it easy.
Tuesday September 26,
2017
Dilbert Might Have Lied
Tags rumors, sources, journalism, accusation
Transcript
Man: I heard you lied about moving the server rack. Dilbert: It isn't true. Man: I heard it from several sources. Dilbert: Each of them heard it from the same source, who was wrong. Man: With that much smoke, there must be a fire. Dilbert: Yes, but it's coming out of your ears.
Monday September 25,
2017
Dilbert Did Not Move The Server Rack
Tags rumors, accusation, lying, obstinacy
Transcript
Boss: Why did you move the server rack? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: You must be lying because I heard you did. Dilbert: Isn't it more likely you're wrong? Boss: Considering all the options, I like the one where I'm right about everything and you're a stinkin' liar.
Sunday September 24,
2017
Tags rumor, conjecture, karma, payback
Transcript
Boss: I heard that you think I'm making the wrong decision with our technology roadmap. Dilbert: I never said that. Boss: I heard you did. Dilbert: Who told you that? Boss: I promised I wouldn't reveal my source. Dilbert: It never happened. Boss: That's not what I hear. Dilbert: Will the fate of my entire career depend on that rumor? Boss: It already does. Dilbert: Do you ever worry about karma? Boss: Get back to work. Narrator: One hour later. CEO: I hear you're embezzling like crazy. Boss: Who told you that?
Sunday September 17,
2017
Tags argument, anger, frustration, trolling, needling
Transcript
Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.
Wednesday July 12,
2017
Getting The Wrong Answer
Tags budget, spending, Advice, money
Transcript
Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.
Wednesday June 21,
2017
Dogbert The Special Counsel
Tags trump, comey, obstruction, russia, collusion
Transcript
Boss: Everyone says you've been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. I've assigned a special counsel to review all of your email and phone logs. Dilbert: I've done nothing wrong. Dogbert: Stop trying to obstruct justice.
Wednesday June 14,
2017
Imagine He Is Naked
Tags public speaking, presentation, Advice, nervous, naked, fear
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.
Sunday May 28,
2017
Transcript
Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.
Sunday May 14,
2017
Tags climate change, carbon dioxide, emissions, global warming, environmental issues
Transcript
Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?


