80 Hour Week Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

576 Results for 80 Hour Week

View 71 - 80 results for 80 hour week comic strips. Discover the best "80 Hour Week" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #buzzwords, #strung together, #same status reprt, #every week, #eleven years, #mission statement

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, your status report is just a bunch of buzzwords strung together." Wally replies, "I've been giving you that same status report every week for eleven years." Wally continues, "Five years ago you adopted it as our mission statement."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bragging, #hours per week, #made up, #reorganized pattern, #seventy hours, #sixty hours, #complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and Alice are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I worked sixty hours last week." Alice replies, "That's nothing. I worked seventy hours." Wally says, "That's nothing..." Wally continues, "Oh, wait... I just recognized the pattern."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bandwidth, #budget, #double click, #engineer for week, #interface, #ping director, #scope, #batch mode

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Let's ping the director of marketing and double-click on the budget." The Boss continues, "Then we can interface in batch mode and put a scope on his bandwidth." Alice cringes and exclaims, "Please stop doing that!" The Boss adds, "Have I mentioned that I was an engineer for a week?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #coffee with boss, #one hour, #quality time, #rather staple skunk, #snarky remarks, #cutting insulting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Carol, "I call my idea 'Coffee with the Boss.' Each employee will get one hour of quality time with me." Carol responds, "I'd rather staple a skunk to my forehead and go to a trade show for banjo makers." Carol continues, "And yet, it's still better than working, so count me in." The Boss replies, "That's the spirit!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #30 thousand employees, #emails jokes per week, #file bankruptcy, #lost prodcutivity, #ten million, #holding employee responsible

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Tina, "Tina, our records show that you forward an average of nineteen e-mail jokes per week." Catbert continues, "Each joke goes to 30,000 employees, costing us ten million per year in lost productivity." Catbert concludes, "We plan to blame you when we file for bankruptcy next week." Tina is visibly worried.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #software, #week, #ordering system, #honeymoon, #two weeks, #parole board, #outside system, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says into the phone, "And I need the software in a week." The voice on the other end of the line says, "Cheryl is the only one who knows the ordering system." The woman on the other end of the line says into the phone, "She's on her honeymoon for two weeks. You need CFO approval to buy software outside the system." Dilbert responds, "Fine. I'll talk to the CFO. When will he be available?" The voice responds, "Depends on the parole board."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #drop by iq, #measure of drop by visitor, #stay in cubicle, #one hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert says, "I've developed a new theory of intelligence that I call 'Drop-by-I.Q.'" Dogbert continues, "It's a measure of how long a drop-by visitor will stay in your cubicle when you're trying to work." The Boss is standing in Alice's cubicle. He says, ..."And that's why I'm afraid of bananas." Alice looks at her clock and thinks, "One hour and counting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lost cash, #consultectomy, #wallet, #transfusion, #sedate unwilling donor, #happy hour

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is lying in bed. Dogbert says, "The consultectomy was successful, but you lost a lot of cash." Dogbert continues, "We're giving your wallet a transfusion, but we had to sedate an unwilling donor." A businessman sits on a bed with a martini in one hand. There is tube stretching from his pocket to The Boss' wallet, Ratbert is manning the machine. The businessman says, "Whoever thought of happy hour at a hospital is a geniush."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #100 hrs a week, #ask for raise, #top secret facilit, #super genius, #resume, #honest, #take one, #know one

View Transcript

Transcript

An interviewee says to The Boss, "If you hire me, I'll work a hundred hours a week and never ask for a raise!" The interviewee continues, "I went to school at a top-secret facility for super geniuses; that's why it's not on my resume." The Boss says to Catbert, "And I'm sure it's all true because he says he's honest!" Catbert replies, "Apparently it doesn't take one to know one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #business card orders, #downsized, #3 per week, #possibility of leaving, #rates, #fees, #calculations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Carol and asks, "How many business cards should I order?" Carol responds, "It depends." Carol continues, "I use a complex formula based on your burn rate and your likelihood of getting downsized." Dilbert says, "I use about three per week." Carol replies, "You'll need three cards."