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Two Choices For A Project

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Two Choices For A Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #question, #trick, #choice, #illusion, #work, #assignment, #power

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Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.

The Boss Had A Great Weekend

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The Boss Had A Great Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #Fun, #weekend, #listening, #frustration, #fair, #fairness, #equality, #business

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Boss: Wow, I had an amazing weekend at my mountain cabin. Wine, friends, food, and amazing views! Dilbert: I worked all weekend because you said you would fire me if I didn't get this done by your arbitrary deadline. Boss: You're a terrible listener.

Phone Better Than Human

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 Phone Better Than Human  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #distraction, #human, #conversation

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Alan: Everything went wrong for me this week. I have problems... all kinds of problems. Dilbert: For the zillionth time in a row, my phone is more fun than talking to a human.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #work, #job, #happiness, #fulfillment, #meaning, #pleasure, #struggle, #engagement, #business, #psychology

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Asok: I want a job I can enjoy. Dilbert: You want to work for free? Asok: No, I just want to get paid for doing things I want to do. Dilbert: Perhaps you misunderstand the true nature of "work." The reason your employer pays you is because work is unpleasant by its very nature. If the job were fun, the company would charge you a fee for letting you do it. Boss: Asok, I need you to climb into the dumpster and find out what's making it smell so bad. Asok: At least I'm doing something useful. Boss: No, it's more of a curiosity situation.

Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife

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Tina Agrees To Be Work Wife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #spouse, #wife, #insult, #mean, #game, #obliviousness, #relationships

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Boss: Alice doesn't want to be my work-wife. How about you? Tina; As your work-wife, would I be able to jokingly insult you in front of the others? Boss: Sure, ha ha! Tina: Okay, I'm in. Now run along, you ignorant sack of wet fertilizer. Boss: This is fun!

Team Building Dance

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Team Building Dance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #team-building, #dance, #rules, #restrictions, #Fun

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Boss: This year's team-building event will be a dance. No alcohol will be served. The event is for employees only, and you're not allowed to touch each other. Have a great time. Dilbert: How?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #business, #criticism, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

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Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

New Year's Day

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New Year's Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?