Above Seat Comic Strips - Page 8

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83 Results for Above Seat

View 71 - 80 results for above seat comic strips. Discover the best "Above Seat" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #hammerhead bob, #start butting into private lives, #sense annoyance

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"Great. The only seat is next to Hammerhead Bob." "I'm learning ESP so I can start butting into people's private thoughts." "I sense annoyance, yet there seems to be no cause."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2006's comic on:


Tags #executives, #hierarchy, #invisible, #managers, #status, #underling, #steering committee, #tall memebers, #senior menagement, #acknowledge exitence

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"Asok, I want you to attend the technology steering committee for me." "But they are all tall members of senior management. They won't even acknowledge my existence." "Phfft." "Hey, Andy, this seat is free. I'll just move my coffee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2007's comic on:


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"I heard that you started a comic strip on the side." "You're in my seat, fly bait. Move or I'll pound your head so hard you'll have to remove your pants to read." "Did I miss anything about teamwork?" "Where do you get your ideas?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #patents, #patent applications, #desiccated turnip

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CEO: Put my name above yours on all of your patent applications. Because your brain, without the genius of my leadership, would be like a desiccated turnip. All you are, and all you will ever be... Dilbet: Right... got it... name on patent...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #win battle, #developing better tv sets, #digital couch, #butt warmer, #bottle opener, #back scratcher, #control lights, #temperature, #buttocks like a mouse

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Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #boss, #raise, #political capital, #business

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The Boss: If I try to give you the raise you deserve, the people above me will just reduce it. Alice: Maybe you could use some of your political capital to argue my case. The Boss: Maybe not.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #title, #meaningless, #proud, #mean, #cruel, #deflated, #orders, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says ,"Employees are so important to me that our head of human resources will get a C-level title." Dogbert says, "Edna will be our CPO, or Chief People officer." Dogbert says ,"Take a seat over there by the chief artificial coffee creamer officer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #discriminating, #genetic reason, #idiot, #intolerance, #turned down for raise, #maximum raise, #learning problem, #desparation, #money

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The Boss: Alice, I can't give you the maximum raise because you don't respect other people's differences. Alice says, Why are you discriminating against me for my intolerance? If I am intolerant for some genetic reason, then I can't help it. Alice says, "And if I'm intolerant because I can't learn to be otherwise, then obviously I have a learning problem. Alice says, "Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not acceptable for me to notice it? You need to start appreciating me for my intolerance! Alice says, And while I'm at it, allow my to mention that a monkeys seat cushion has better views than what I'm looking at right now. The Boss says, "I'm not quite sure where to go with this." Alice says, "Ooh! Oooh! I have a suggestion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #loopy, #couldn't end story, #vacation, #cocnuts, #rapped, #round and hairy, #coconut trees, #brown, #being chased, #co worker

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"Introducing LOOPY The woman who couldn't end a story." "Did I tell you about my vacation?" Dilbert: UH- OH "We learned about coconuts." Dilbert: "I"m trapped." Loopy: "Coconuts are round and hairy, and they grow on trees." Dilbert: "Must escape." Loopy: "Coconut trees are found in many countries." Dilbert: "Must use my ejector seat." "FROOMP! HA HA!" "They're brown." "GAAA!!! She has a pursuit chair!!!" "I took lots of pictures." "Must...aim for traffic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #objectives, #play computer, #solitaire, #drink coffee, #valuable lesson, #reading documents, #signing, #games of solitaire, #something new, #employee of month

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The Boss walks down the hall and thinks, "I hate today.. I hate today." The Boss takes a seat by Wally in the conference room and thinks, "Wally's annual performance review." The Boss says to Wally, "Let's compare your objectives with.." The Boss pauses and then continues, "What the...?" The Boss says, "Apparently your objectives are "play computer solitaire and drink coffee." Wally says, "I hope you're learning a valuable lesson about reading documents before signing them." The Boss responds, "Okay, we'll use what we have. How many games of solitaire did you win?" Wally says, "Win? I didn't know you could win. Is that something new?" After the meeting, Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "He made you employee of the month?" Wally responds, "He thinks he signed a warning for my file."